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Raising my arm again, the whip sits on my shoulder, and then pulling my arm back, the whip goes forward, and everything blurs.
* * *
I pierce my knife through his heart. My breaths are ragged, and adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I watch Dante hold his chest as his body collapses to the ground.
I look around at the men I’ve killed tonight, every last one deserved so much more. I’m covered in their blood, and my knife drips with what’s left of it as I hold it next to my body. I hear a gurgle and decide to watch as the last asshole takes his final breath.
I lean over him as he stares up at me. I smirk not being able to help the enjoyment I get from watching his life slip away. He tries to reach up for me, but I knock his hand away with my knife. The blood of the others drips onto him as I lean down.
Ivan’s chest rises and falls as his breathing becomes sparse. I watch the life drain from his eyes as he takes his final breath. His eyes stay locked on mine as he does. Once his hand slips from his body, I stand back to my full height.
I clean my knife off on my jacket and take another look around at the eight men who all faced the same wrath. My knife. Taking what they deserve. Not before I defiled them the same way they did Grace. They screamed, begging me to stop, but I couldn’t, not until every last one of them faced the same pain as Grace did that day.
My heart felt heavy thinking about what they put my wife through, what she experienced that day, how she begged for me to help and all I could do was watch as they raped and beat her until she couldn’t take anymore.
I feel dizzy as I picture her, dropping to my knees and gasping for air. I can’t breathe, my wife and little girl needed me, and I couldn’t save them. I inhale and exhale trying to catch my breath as tears fall down my cheeks. My entire body shakes as I close my eyes and all I see is them.Their lifeless bodies are covered in blood. I hear my own screams as I cry out while I hold them.
I finally have better control of myself enough to stand. My legs shake as I do, but I keep my balance even though I feel like I might vomit any second.
No matter how I try or how many of Pasquale's men I kill for revenge, nothing makes me feel any closer to redemption. Some days are harder than others, when a memory floats through my mind those days become dark. In those days, I realize how truly alone I am.
Nothing will bring my girls back, nothing will ever make this pain and suffering I feel everyday go away.
I tried to end my life that day, but it was like something had stopped me. I went to pull the trigger, but the trigger jammed. it didn’t work I tried, fuck did I try. I couldn’t end my life knowing Pasquale and his men got to walk this earth after taking my girls' lives.
I soon etched myself into his life without him knowing. His son became a close friend, and he despised his father as much as I did. The only difference between Bishop and I was he had no idea his father had killed his mother. Until recently of course. I told him about what he did to my girls and Bishop told me to handle it. I knew Bishop wasn’t a killer and he had his girl to think about. Me on the other hand had no one. No one would miss me if I ended up dead at the end of this. As long as I took Pasquale out before it ended, I didn’t care if I died. There was nothing keeping me here but revenge for my girls, and once I ended Pasquale’s life he would be another scumbag off this earth.
Time to go and let my little kitten know it’s nearly time. I almost feel sorry for the pain I’ve caused her all because of who her father is and what he did to me.
Jacob came backa little over an hour ago, he is yet to enter the room in his usual demanding way.
After he left me for the second time, my hatred for him started again. I feel like a yo-yo with him back and forth between hating him and my heart doing stupid things because of him. I couldn’t calm that bitch down.
I hate feeling anything for him. I shouldn’t feel anything but hatred for him, to feel sick when he touches me for what he does to my body. I know he sees the pain he puts me through and the way he makes my body sing with just the slightest touch from him. The things I have fantasized about him doing to me and the way I want topleasehim.
It all makes me sound like I have gone completely fucking mad. If my father knew the things I wanted Jacob to do to me he’d lock me up and throw away the key to make sure I never saw the light of day ever again.
I hear murmuring and I can’t help but drift to his voice. I place my ear to the door and listen.
“Forgive me, Grace. Forgive me, Emmy. I promise I will end this.”
Grace, Emmy?
Their names, he’s asking for their forgiveness. Why? After he told me what my father did I felt sick, I couldn’t believe he’d truly do something like that. But I guess he’s not the man I thought he was.
I’m almost too afraid to ask the unmodified version of what happened to his wife and daughter.
He watched them die, I couldn;t imagine what he went through, what they went through.
I feel sick after I hear him say one final thing and then I hear his footsteps coming toward the door.
“He will pay for what he did to you both, that I promise you.”
I gulp and panic finding a spot on the floor, I just put my head down when I hear the door to room Jacob is in open.
I’m panting from the shock or fear. I'm not sure which one. Maybe the fear that he’ll know I was eavesdropping.
I try to calm my racing heart when the door to the room I’m in opens, and I feel him enter. His presence is strong; it wouldn’t matter if he blindfolded me and took away my hearing. I would be able to feel him in any room before he touched me or spoke. He has a strong masculine smell that almost brings me to my knees.
