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“Get a shower. Rest,” I told her quietly, avoiding her gaze. I didn’t want her to see anything I wasn’t ready to give. And I was afraid if I looked at her, I’d fuck everything up by asking for more than what she may be ready for.
Silently, I left the room, quietly shutting the chapel doors behind me to give her privacy.
5
Lindsey
What the fuck did I do?
I stared up at the ceiling above me, my chest tight with anxiety. Being with Blink, feeling him inside of me, touching me, kissing me…God, it was the best fucking thing I’d ever experienced. Nothing compared. But he was myboss. I was living under his roof. He was in charge of my paychecks. I had a place to live because of him.
I’d just put my livelihood at stake. What the hell had I beenthinking? I mean, clearly, I wasn’t thinking at all when he’d been touching me, hence why I was in the predicament I was in now. It hadn’t even crossed my fucking mind to put a stop to what happened between us last night. The moment he’d kissed me, I’d been a goner. Hooked on him like he was my own personal drug.
“God, you fuckingidiot,” I whispered harshly to myself. I sat up and dropped my face into my hands with a long, loud groan. My eyes burned from the lack of sleep, and my head was pounding. The sun was beginning to rise, bringing forth a new day, and I hadn’t slept a wink. How could I sleep while I was freaking out like this?
I had to quit before things could fall to shit and Blink could fire me. That was my only option. Working for Blink after what had transpired between us… it couldn’t happen. It wouldn’t end well. Because if he touched me again, I wouldn’t be able to resist him. And that was dangerous. Because it was going towreckme when he got tired of me.
But this was just my classic style. I was so good at fucking up every good thing in my life. I’d grown up in the foster care system, and every time a potential set of parents wanted to get to know me in hopes of adopting me, my mouth somehow ended the process. Every boyfriend I’d ever had, I was too clingy, and they couldn’t stand it.
Ihadto walk away from this before I did irreparable damage to myself.
Sighing, I slid out of bed and quickly walked over to my dresser. I threw my belongings that I brought with me into my bag before doing the same with my toiletries. Pain lanced through my heart as I stared at the new things I’d purchased with my advance, but I couldn’t take them with me. Not when I wasn’t even sticking around long enough to justify keeping them.
I shoved my feet into my sneakers before slipping out of my room and down the hall to Blink’s. The quicker I got this over with, the quicker I could get out of town and start off new… yet again. My endless, toxic cycle of life.
After drawing in a deep, calming breath, I raised my fist and knocked on his door. When a moment went by where he didn’t answer, I awkwardly shuffled my feet and cleared my throat before raising my fist to knock again.
The door flew open before my knuckles could make contact.
Blink was only wearing a pair of sweatpants. His broad, muscular chest was bare, and his muscles flexed as he crossed his arms over his chest. With one shoulder propped against the door jamb and his feet crossed at his ankles, his hair a disheveled mess and slightly covering those sleepy, dark eyes, he looked like the perfect image of a Greek God.
Fuck, I was pretty sure my ovaries wentpoofat the sight of him.
“Little early, isn’t it, darlin’?” he rasped.
My cheeks colored a little pink. “I, uhm…” I shuffled a bit and shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans. Then, I yanked them out. I didn’t know what the hell to do with my hands. “I’m quitting,” I blurted.
I had expectedanythingbut what flashed across Blink’s face. There was no surprise. No nonchalance. That sleepy-eyed look did disappear though.
He waspissed.
“Wanna run that by me again, Lindsey?” he growled.
I shivered. Fuck, why did he have to say my name like that? I was pretty sure I melted. Right there. All over the floor. I was probably dripping through the cracks to fall into the kitchen beneath us.
“I, uh, I’m quitting?” I squeaked, though now I sounded unsure.
He grabbed my arm and yanked me into the room. I stumbled and gripped the edge of his mattress to keep from falling on my face. His door slammed shut a moment later, making me jump and spin around to face him. My heart hammered hard against my breastbone—like it was going to launch right out of my chest and splatter against his in its rush to attach itself to him.
“Come here,” he growled.
Swallowing thickly and not daring to defy him, I closed the distance between us. He gripped my chin and tilted my head back to the point the angle hurt, straining my neck muscles.
“You arenotquitting, nor are you leaving, until I give you express permission to do so. And as far as I’m concerned, that will benever, Lindsey. Understood?”
The idea of never being allowed to leave should have frightened me. It should have thrown up red flags everywhere. Alarms should have been blaring in my head. But instead, a sort of calmness washed over me. The idea of belonging somewhere, of someonewantingme enough to make me stay… fuck, it was like drinking a cup of hot chocolate with tiny little marshmallows on a really cold day in front of a warm fire.
“I understand,” I quietly told him.
