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“Go ahead,” I dare. My skin is tingling all over. I’ve never been spanked before, and the thought…
Let’s just say I don’t hate it.
“You’re playing with fire, Brianna. And I know a hell of a lot about fire.”
He’s no doubt thinking about the fire that torched his family’s vineyards. His family is strapped now, and they need the money from this tour.
And here I am…toying with him, trying to manipulate him.
He’s right. I deserve better, and so does he.
I drop my gaze and step into my thong, pulling it up around my hips. Then I touch his cheek once more.
“I apologize. This isn’t who I am, Jesse.” I move my hand away from his cheek. “It’s just… I want you so much. But I won’t manipulate you. I’m very sorry.”
He pulls me to him, his nose in my neck, inhaling.
“If you only understood…”
I pull away then, force him to meet my gaze. “Help me understand, then. I want to understand you. I know I’m young. I know I come from incredible privilege. I know all of these things about myself. I wish I were more like my cousin Ava. She does things out on her own, without the help of our family’s money.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“Nothing, I suppose. But Ava left the ranch. I never wanted to. I love working with my father. I’m the only one of his four children who shares his love of the orchard.”
“I can see that.” He nods. “I mean really, whyshouldyou live without your family’s money? It’s there. It’s yours. You’re entitled to it.”
“By virtue of being born a Steel, yes. But I didn’t do anything special to earn it.”
“I’m glad you see that.”
“I’m sorry that I’m sometimes insensitive about what you and your family are going through. I saw how much the partial loss of our vineyard hurt Dale, and—”
He raises his hand to quiet me. “Please don’t go there. I have nothing against Dale. Nothing against your family. But it’s not the same thing.”
I don’t bother trying to explain to Jesse what I mean. He’s seeing things in dollars and cents, but what those vineyards meant to Dale went way beyond their monetary value. They were part ofhim. A place he went to for solace, peace. After everything he’s been through…
Does Jesse even know about all that?
It’s not my story to tell. It’s Dale’s.
“I understand.” I nod. “I mean, I’m trying to understand. I won’t ever fully understand, because I’ve never been in your shoes, Jesse. But you’ve never been in Dale’s either.”
He sighs. “Brianna, please don’t—”
I place two fingers over his firm lips to quiet him. “I won’t. This isn’t about Dale. This is about you and what your family has suffered. And it’s about me wanting to understand.”
He grabs me then, throws me on the bed, and hovers over me. “I want to tell you, Brianna. I want to try to help you understand. But I can’t. Not with this raging hard-on. I have to have my release.”
I slip out of my thong. “I’m not stopping you.”
He plunges inside me then, and I gasp out. He’s so large, and though I’m still aroused, talk of Dale and the vineyards and Jesse’s family tightened me back up a bit.
“Okay?” he rasps against my neck.
“Yes. I’m okay.”
“Thank God.” He pulls out and pushes back in.
