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‘Jo. God, Jo...’
Her name reverberated through her body with the diminishing waves of her own climax as he shook through his, his voice hoarse and grabbing her very core in an iron fist.
* * *
‘Don’t leave yet. It is still short of midnight. Stay.’
Benneit pulled her back towards him as Jo tried to rise, tucking her against his length, his mouth brushing her temple and then pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
‘I shouldn’t.’
‘Why not? Are you regretting this again?’ The words were brusque compared to the message of his body and she heard her own uncertainty there and shook her head. Perhaps she would later, after she left Lochmore, but whatever time was left she did not wish to ruin with regret.
‘No. Though it is still hard for me. Perhaps we should not have done this here, in the room you shared with Bella.’
His arms pulled her even closer, his hand spread over her ribs below her breast. It was large and warm and both soft and calloused and her skin tingled beneath it, already wanting more.
‘She was never in this bed, so that needn’t sit on your conscience. You’ve too much there already and I can’t bear adding to it.’
She ignored the future, focusing on the past, more curious than jealous about that. ‘Never?’
‘She preferred her own chambers. She hated the castle and demanded we redecorate and, as you can see from the Hall, I gave her free rein in most places outside my room and the study. And the crypt. Her romantic fascination with all things Scottish didn’t last long when confronted with the reality. When my father told her about the mystery of the plundered tomb in the crypt she wanted to transform it into a quaint attraction for visitors, but I drew the line there.’
‘The plundered tomb? Was that the one with the broken lid?’
‘Yes, there is no body there and the matching brooch was missing. They were taken during a battle with the McCrieffs hundreds of years ago, but no one knows where or why. Bella felt it would be a pleasant attraction for when we entertained our English friends.’
‘Didn’t she know you hated closed spaces?’
His fingers stilled for a moment in their slow caress of the curve of her waist, but he didn’t withdraw as she expected.
‘No. My parents taught me quite effectively no good came from sharing my mental instability. I am usually better at masking it.’
‘It is not mental instability. It is the natural outcome of a horrible experience. If this had happened to Jamie, you would not allow anyone to regard it in that manner!’
‘I would not allow such a thing to happen to him. Why do you think I forbid him to go alone to the tunnels?’
‘You cannot know what life will do to any of us. But I know you would not shame him for his fear any more than you shame Angus for his reluctance to see beyond his scars.’
‘That is pure selfishness. I like having Angus here.’
She pressed a kiss to the curve of his shoulder.
‘You are a monster of selfishness indeed. I knew it all along.’
His arm tightened again, his leg rising to brush against hers, but he lowered it.
‘Bella certainly believed I was.’
She barely resisted the urge to snort.
‘Bella was certainly an authority on selfishness. She had many good qualities, but she was spoilt from the cradle. I always envied her her certitude.’
‘So did I. It was one of the things I admired about her. It was...persuasive. I wanted to be like her.’
‘I thought you were rather like her,’ she admitted. ‘Back then. You appeared perfect together.’
She covered his hand with her smaller hand. He sighed, linking his fingers with hers.
‘The bard had some words on how the world seems compared to how it is, didn’t he? We were perfect for how we both wanted to appear to the world. But Bella needed someone kinder than I, someone indulgent who could calm the little girl who was afraid she would no longer be loved when she ceased to be perfect. I had no notion and, to be honest, no real will to do so. Sometimes I think it irked her most of all that I preferred her imperfections—that made them all the more real to her. Once our mutual infatuation was over we had to face the fact that we were not very well suited.’
