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So she found some weapons to fight back. “Maybe you don’t belong in grad school if you can’t come up with your own ideas.”
He jerked as if she’d pelted him with something. His hands flitted at his sides. Sick hummingbirds. Dying butterflies. Searching for a final resting place. His mouth opened but nothing came out.
What if it was true? What if he’d been lying when he said his aunt had no role in his acceptance? If he’d stoop low enough to take Allison’s ideas, who’s to say he wouldn’t force his way into grad school by whatever means necessary? His drive knew no limits. “Maybe that’s because your aunt did get you into this program.”
Colin’s jaw was slack enough to catch flies. “You know she didn’t.”
“I don’t know anything.” Allison eased herself back up the stairs. The door felt a million miles away. “And I certainly don’t know you. Because the guy I thought I was dating”—she stopped, stared him down—“who I thought Iloved,would not have shown up in the sweater he wore when he dumped me two years ago to give a presentation he’dstolenfrom me. To win a mentorship I have been working toward for half a decade.”
She couldn’t reach him if she stretched her arms, but he was still too close. Anywhere on this block, in this city, this state, this hemisphere, on thisplanet,was too close.
“I don’t want to see you again.” She turned away as she said it. “Don’t come back.”
Every piece of Allison was full of lead. Deadened and numb. Somehow, though, she made it into the house. Back to her room.
Sophie’s eyes followed her quietly as Allison dropped down at her computer. The searing anger that had inspired the first draft of her email to Wendy had been extinguished, replaced by a sadness so heavy it threatened to pull her right through the floor.
With fingers that could barely move, she revised her note to her professor and sent it off, then burst into tears.
Chapter 36
Mei bustled through the doorway of the English Department office, a steaming bowl cradled in a paper towel.
She dropped it to her desk like it burned. “Hey. Allison, do you need something?”
Allison had practically run from the library to Haber Hall after her recitations to find Wendy’s office still dark. Which was what happened when you were half an hour early.
“I’m just waiting for Wendy.” Her finger tapping against the desktop, Allison peeked again through the doorway, as if her professor might have been beamed into her office via spaceship.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket, but Allison didn’t bother to check it. It would no doubt be Colin. Again. He didn’t seem to know when to stop. If he thought this was going to be one of those situations where persistence would win the day, he was in for a rude awakening.
She should block his number, but Allison wanted to wait until she’d spoken to Wendy, so she could witness Colin’s demise firsthand. She’d decided, rather than explaining it all in an email, to ask Wendy to meet in person to talk about what had happened.
Sitting at her desk, Mei stirred her meal—it smelled like rice and pork and deliciousness—with a spoon. “You look like my daughter when she needs to confess something.” Her mouth curved into a grin. “Did you play with my makeup?”
Even as her hands crushed into fists, Allison laughed. “It’s nothing.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing. Spill.”
Maybe Mei would be a good outside perspective. Talking to her might help organize Allison’s thoughts ahead of her meeting. She sighed. “Have you ever had someone copy your work?”
Mei’s eyebrows dipped. “Like you say something in class and one of your classmates takes it and turns it into a paper?”
“Something like that.” Allison couldn’t bring herself to admit it was a far more flagrant offense.
“I have. My second year here. And it’s a pretty terrible feeling. When I started this program, I had these rosy ideas about what graduate school would be. Everyone sitting around sharing their thoughts, learning to grow as scholars together. And there’s plenty of times when it is like that.”
It was a relief to hear that Allison hadn’t been alone in her lofty expectations.
Giving her bowl another stir, Mei took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. “But academia is shrinking and the job market is a ghost town and everything about this world feels precarious. There’s so much pressure, and that encourages people to make bad decisions.”
That seemed like a charitable way of framing intellectual theft. But even as she seethed with anger, Allison couldn’t ignore how much stress Colin was under. Wanting to make his family proud, all the self-doubt that came with so much rejection, this chance that felt like his only one, it had to be crushing. Not that any of that gave him the right to appropriate her work. Allison didn’t have to forgive him just because he might have had a reasonable motivation.
He’d betrayed her. She hadn’t set up this meeting to understand his choices. She was here to fix things forher.“What did you do about it?” she asked. “Did you confront them? Go to your professor?”
Allison still wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell Wendy. Of course, she’d explain that “Beauty Is a Beast” had been her lecture topic. But should she mention her suspicions about Colin’s aunt? Should she explain how Colin had manipulated her?
Mei shook her head. “I came up with something else.”
