AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“There was just so much…Jamesin it. I thought there would be more focus on our plans for the Collective. Maybe my tattoo. Or at least the fact that I’m an artist. Like with all the other guests?” Everly grabbed a Splenda packet and dumped the contents in her empty coffee cup, then started to shred the yellow paper.
Sady pulled her sunglasses from her head and chewed on one end, studying Everly. “Your art will be a large part of your episodes, of course.”
“That wasn’t really clear from the premiere special. It looked more like the whole purpose of me being on the show would be to land a boyfriend.” She wasn’t even sure if she was ready for that right now. She’d spent so much time since Grandma Helen died hiding the parts of herself she feared were embarrassing. It felt like she needed to put herself back together first, before letting someone else in.
But if she was ready, if she did want someone… was it James?
Everly had to strain her gaze on the table to keep from glancing at Logan.
At this point, the Splenda packet was a pile of confetti, and she reached for a Sweet’N Low to add a new color.
“But you like him?”
Everly shrugged. “There’s more to me than that.” Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Logan lean in a little closer. She cleared her throat. “And next to the other guests, I look… I don’t know… vapid.”
“There was definitely an imbalance in the footage. I got other shots besides Everly at work,” Logan piped in. “The ones with her family. Or her sketching at lunch. It wasn’t all about that guy when she was shooting.” His voice got extra rough around the words “that guy.” It did something weird to Everly’s knees.
“I know, but the James angle is a sharper narrative, don’t you think?” Sady glanced over her shoulder at him.
“Not if the guest—if Everly—is unhappy with it.”
Her name sounded so lyrical on his lips. Every one of her muscles melted in response.
Sady flicked her gaze to Everly. “I promise, you’ll see, as the season gets going, we’re going to cast you and your art and your entire arc in the best light. It’s the magic I work. Logan knows that.”
Sady and Everly both looked at him. His brow wrinkled for a moment, then smoothed over. “She’s not wrong. She does good work.”
“I know it’s hard to let go of control, but audiences are going to love you, I know it, and they’re going to connect with your story. Totally eat it up.” Sady’s eyes were bright, her voice sincere, and Everly wanted desperately to believe her, if only so she had one less thing to worry about.
“Could we please downplay the James stuff a little more?” she asked.
Sady’s phone rang, cutting off her words. “We’ve got it taken care of, don’t worry.” She offered Everly one more smile before pointing down at her screen. “I’ve got to answer this.” With a few last directions to Logan, she flitted out toward the parking lot.
Everly followed her with her gaze until Sady’s SUV backed onto Central Avenue. Her stomach was in knots. When she settled back against the booth, she realized everyone was watching her. “What?”
“I thought you liked James?” Stanton asked.
“I guess. But I don’t want to date him.”
“Your nominator seemed to think otherwise. The whole application was about helping you build your confidence.” Stanton stretched his long arms to emphasize “whole.”
Of course Becca would do that. She was convinced that the onlything standing in the way of a potential relationship between Everly and James was Everly’s lack of self-esteem.
She sighed and turned her eyes to the table, sweeping the torn sugar packets into a neat little pile. “It’s—” Pausing, she looked straight at Logan. “I don’t want any of this on camera.” She dug her phone out of her pocket and cued up a playlist, angling the screen at him. “I’m prepared to start blaring copyrighted music to mess up these shots if needed.”
She expected a fight, but Logan only lowered the camera silently.
“I’m not insecure about dating.” She didn’t hate herself or the way she looked. She just wanted to stay off people’s radar. No one could think she was too much if she was not on their mind. It was a rejection-free approach to life. “You can like someone but not want to be with them.”
“Of course.” Jazzy tucked some of her black curls back into her hat. “We just want to understand why, so we can make sure we’re helping you the way you want to be helped.”
“I want to focus on myself,” Everly said. “On making things right by my grandmother and doing the Collective, on designing my tattoo. Maybe figuring out what I want to do for a career. I want to learn what makesmehappy.” Adding another person to that equation would complicate things. It introduced the possibility of being rejected. Of not being enough, or maybe too much, or somehow both at once, for someone else. Everly wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
James was a great guy. He was hot. And she really enjoyed that, in her own daydreams, she could be herself around him. If she tried to date him and discovered that wasn’t true, it was liable to devastate her. That’s not what herOn the Plus Sideexperience was supposed to be about.
None of that would help her to embrace who she was.
The two hosts nodded. Their affirmation was a shot of helium toEverly’s chest, and she was ready to float away. It had been too long since she last felt heard. Since she’d tried to be.
