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She shakes her head and tries to smile, but I can see through it now. I’ve misjudged her. I can understand why she would be such a bitch now.
“No, you're ok. I was just sitting here waiting. It’s nice to do nothing for a while.”
I sit down next to her and just watch her. I can tell this just isn’t what she ever wanted for herself. They obviously made her marry my father. I wonder how I never noticed? I mean sure I was away at college, but I did come back here for the wedding and she seemed every bit the blushing bride.
“Lena. Can I ask you something?”
She looks at me with curiosity and that makes me feel worse because I know I haven’t been kind to her and none of this is even her fault.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Did you want to marry my dad?”
A look of sadness glitters through her face before she steels her expression.
“Of course I did. He is a powerful man.” She looks away and glances down the hall.
That seems like a horrible thing to her. Then why are we still pretending like I like the idea of being with Sal?
"I mean, I understand that, but... was it your choice? Did they arrange it? I.. I just want to apologize if I have misjudged you and I'm pretty sure I have."
She's been staring off. I know she is my age, but looking at her now, she looks so much older. Like she has experienced a lot.
"Not at first. It wasn't until recently that I even realized. My family was pushing him on me for years and I was a match for him, so I thought. Well, I wanted to believe..."
Her gaze drifts toward the closed door. I can hear the Father shuffling around.
"I wanted to believe it would all be ok. That maybe we could grow to love each other." She shakes her head. "I shouldn't be saying this. It's ok Rose, don't worry about apologizing to me. I get it. I really do."
"Well, maybe.” I look down at my hands. “Maybe we can start over and at least be here for each other?" I grab her hand to show some support and maybe some comfort.
"Yeah sure, thanks." She squeezes my hand back in a kind gesture.
The Father's door finally opens so that we can go in and start this meeting. We both stand up and wipe the sadness off of our faces before making our way into his office. I know that when I leave the chapel my fate is sealed and everything will be set in stone. I falter before walking through the door. Lena gives me an understanding look and lays her hand on my shoulder. The priest looks up at us curiously.
I give her a curt nod of acceptance before following her into the priest's office. I know for sure what comes next in these situations. Next will be the wedding and after that happens, there will be no going back unless one of us dies. I lay my worries aside though because I have more important things to deal with right now.
Like keeping up a forced act of happiness. We sit and start to discuss the details. As always, I let Lena take over and my mind slipped away, focusing on Vlad. I have a wonderful fantasy happening in my head, one I hope will stay with me for the rest of my days.
A happy ending where I stayed, and we woke up together. One where he feels the same way I do. I even have one where our paths cross again and, by some miracle, he wanted me and fought for me. Sal and my father would eventually die by his hand. But what would Vlad say if he ever found out I'm a Mafia princess?
I hate this whole thing. I wish I was just some normal woman with normal problems. I let out a deep sigh and Lena pats my arm. Maybe we could be friends. I think I would like that. I know she hasn't said as much, but I'm pretty sure she is in the same position I am. The meeting has concluded, and all the necessary arrangements have been made and finalized.
The date and time are now firmly established. Yet, a sense of melancholy engulfs me. It seems as if my entire existence has been overtaken, leaving me with no autonomy or options. I no longer have control over my own life. Everything is progressing rapidly, and I can only hold on tight and go along with it.
This will happen with or without my participation. My father doesn't care. As long as there is money involved, nothing matters. The ride back to my father's house is quiet. I keep my eyes on my phone, wishing the call I really want to see would come through. It won't. I know it’s just a dream. I never even told him who I really was.
I know there is no point in hoping he would magically figure it out and save me. I don't even know why I even let my mind think that it could be a possibility. I didn't tell him my name, and I didn't leave my number.
I wonder how many Vladimirs there are in Brooklyn. Maybe he has a Facebook and I can find him. Just as a piece of hope filters through, my brain decides to bring up reality. It wouldn't matter if I found him. He can't save me. I wish Sal was more like Vlad. If I had to have a husband, he would have been perfect for me. That just makes me feel sadder.
"Are you ok Rose?" Lena asks, concern coloring her features.
"Yeah, just have a lot on my mind." I offer her a slight shrug and a false smile.
She gives me a sympathetic look before turning back to look out of her window. We decided to take one car back to the estate since we were trying to at least be there for one another. It's nice to not be completely alone. I just hope my dad isn't cruel to her like I know Sal will be. I remember when I was young; he was a loving, doting husband and father. But after Mom's death, he was never the same.
We reach the estate and the car makes its way to the entrance. When the car stops, Leo steps up and opens my door, offering me a hand. His gaze says so much, but his mouth stays closed. A flicker of hatred flashes through him and I see he has the same problem I do. Once he has helped Lena out, I reach over and take her arm, linking my arm with hers. We are in this together now. Both of us have been forced into marriages we didn't want.
