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“I don’t. I think it all just surged because that was a time of loss. We lost a lot of people. And when I thought I’d lost you, it re-triggered. It’ll stop. Or I’ll find a therapist with a security clearance.”
His voice was getting lower; Michael was going to fall asleep again soon. It was a strange routine for us to have gotten into, but it was ours.” I listened to the ceiling fan and the sound of his heartbeat. Soon, I was back asleep, too.
* * *
Our quick vacationended too quickly. Barefoot, wearing my tiny white shorts and a black tank top, I stood on our balcony just so I could stare at the moon. It hung huge and bright in the sky, a disk of light surrounded by a glowing halo. I was ready for bed, except that I really didn’t want to say goodbye to this place.
Michael came up behind me and kissed my neck, which made me shiver with anticipation.
“Look,” I pointed at the luminescent orb. “The moon is huge tonight.”
“It is.” He kissed me again before resting his cheek against mine. “Bridget, I have a question. I wanted to ask it a year ago. I never got to then, and for a long time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to ask you.” He cleared his throat and backed up a step. “Turn around and look at me, would you?”
I did, my heart in my throat.He couldn’t be…
He got down on one knee. “They never tell you how awkward this is going to feel. This position? Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Would you marry me? I promise that I can make you happy. I swear I can. I want you to be my wife. I want to make you my life. Will you let me? Please?”
I threw myself at him, which almost toppled him over then kissed all over his face. “Yes, Michael. I’ve loved you since before I knew what love meant. Yes, I’ll be your wife. I’ll make you happy, too.”
He kissed me then, the sweetest happiest kiss I ever experienced.
Which was why I insisted we had to get marriedthatnight. I didn’t want a white dress. I didn’t care about cake and people. I just wanted to be his wife right then and there.
Michael did so love to give me what I wanted.
* * *
Michael had been gonefor a week, and it was the longest week of my life. I didn’t know where he was or if I should be worrying about him. I ran a hand over the growing bump of my stomach. The day I could digest tomatoes again, we got pregnant. It wasn’t on purpose, but it happened that way.
It was also two days from our first anniversary.
But he’d vanished for the past week, and he left me with little to no communication over the duration. Since we’d gotten married, he hadn’t done any dangerous work himself, thankfully. He sent others out, and his people still seemed thrilled to work for him. Michael didn’t seem to mind, either.
But despite that, there I stood, staring at our nursery, not at all sure why he was gone, or where he went, when I was three months pregnant. My vision went blurry, so I wiped at my face.
Great.And I was crying for absolutely no reason.
It’s your hormones, Hope texted me when I asked if I was crazy.
Totally your hormones, Layla answered.
Well…that sucks.
Three hours later, I was reading a recipe for gluten-free blueberry muffins when Michael got home. He dropped his bag at the door and walked over to me quickly.
“Hi.” I’d barely gotten out the greeting when he pulled me into his arms.Something is wrong. “Michael?”
He pulled back to look at me. “Bridget, I’m so sorry. I wanted to be sure, so I went to see for myself. Your father…he’s gone. His body washed up on shore in Venezuela.”
I blinked, catching my breath. What was he saying?Was he…?“He’s dead?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes, love. I’m so sorry. He’s dead. He was killed, and his body was found. I went and saw it. It’s him.”
I was a little bit dizzy. Michael must have noticed because he sat me down at the counter. For long moments, he just held me and we breathed. I had to think. “The Russians killed him?”
“No.” He frowned. “That’s the other part of this. Your sisters are being informed now, too.Justinkilled him. I found Justin. Well,hefoundme.When I arrived in Venezuela, he was there. He’s not okay. So not okay, in fact, I almost didn’t recognize him. Things went really badly with your father. I can’t imagine just how badly, but Justin killed him.” Michael visibly swallowed. “He wants to get better, so I…I brought him to a rehab in California. He’s there for the foreseeable future. And I…I’m not sure exactly what else to say. Did I make a mistake?”
I put my arms around him and squeezed. My father was dead. My brother killed him, and now Michael was trying to save my brother. “Thank you for trying.” I kissed him because I had to. “I…I just want to lock up here. I just want to lock us away so nothing can ever hurt us again.”
