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I smack the headrest in front of me with my fist. I thought I was angry watching Nicole dance for Knox only minutes after finding out he almost screwed me over, but that has nothing on this.
I can fix the mistakes I’ve made with Knox and Nicole with words.
I’ll need a lot more than that to put my mother back in the box she should have never crawled out of.
“What do you want, Ma? And don’t act like you want to get to know your sons. You’veneverwanted that.”
As her mind ticks over with the endless possibilities she wrongly believes I can supply her, River uses the silence to his advantage. “I told her about my new job. I thought she’d be proud of me. I’m sorry, Laken. I should have never said anything.”
“This hasnothingto do with that. I just want to ensure you’re being properly taken care of.”
She’s a fucking liar. The number of lies she’s told me means I’ve been skilled at sniffing out liars since I was eight. That’s why I was so blindsided to discover Nicole isn’t single.
After requesting the driver take me to the closest courthouse, I ask, “How much do you want?” When another stretch of silence passes between us, I plead, “Be reasonable, Ma. I don’t have a bottomless pit of money.”
“But he does.” She doesn’t need to say Knox’s name for me to know who she’s referencing. The first time she returned to Johnston Bay after a prolonged stint of absence was a month after Knox and I were photographed in a local newspaper. We’d won the state championship, and she was eager to see if the win came with a large, glossy check.
“Not anymore,” I lie. “His father cut him off when I went to...” I stop talking when I recall I usually keep that portion of my life quiet. My shame is too high to share my incarceration as if it’s worth celebrating.
“Jail?” my mother fills in, reminding me her ears are always to the ground when it comes to who she can siphon money from. “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, did it?” I assume she’s referencing her short stint behind bars before she says, “He went back there more than he came to visit his boys.” I look down at my watch when she brings it up. “That’s where he got that stupid piece you show off like it’s valuable and where he’ll end up again when he gets out of his latest court-appointed rehab stay.” She gets back on track before it truly sinks in that this is the most she’s ever shared about my father. “Fifty thousand.”
“Ma—”
“Fifty thousand or River comes with me to Milwaukee. I’ve already purchased his bus ticket.”
“A bus? I don’t want to go on a bus.” River’s voice loudens as he tries to snatch back his phone. “Don’t let her do this, Laken. Please. I like the family I have now. I don’t want to go to Milwaukee.”
“You won’t go to Milwaukee, River. I promise.”
It takes half a dozen more pledges before he settles down enough for my mother to hear a pledge she doesn’t deserve. “I’ll get you the money, but I need a couple of days.”
“You have until midnight.”
“Ma…”
A phone cracking splinters down the line before River’s upset breaths. “She’s gone,” he murmurs just as I arrive at the front stairs of a courthouse to pull his wet face into my chest.
* * *
“Can this wait?” Knox asks after joining me in the office that separates my room from the one he shares with Nicole.
I’m meant to be confronting him about the probation breach he almost instigated, but my mother has left me no choice but to leave that hanging in the wind for a couple more days.
I can’t exactly ask a favor after ripping him a new asshole.
“Nicole isextraplayful tonight.” Even with him trying to get out of the meeting I requested, he sits on the bulky leather chair behind a wooden desk, then makes a tipi with his index fingers. “I’ve always wondered how she’d dispel the rush of endorphins that’ll hit every time she performs live.”
I don’t know if he’s obsessed with the scent of his fingers or if he’s sniffing up the leftover white powder he’s convinced no celebration can be without when he breathes in deeply through his nose.
Whatever it is, it bolsters his cockiness.
“Could have never imagined anything like this.” He connects his loved-up eyes with mine. The lust in them makes me sick to the stomach, but I’m not sitting across from him for any benefit of my own. This is solely about River, the person I pledged to protect long before I knew what love meant. “You should have stuck around for the show. It ended on ahighnote.” He makes a gesture no man over the age of fourteen should make. “Actually, I’m glad you left. Your absence meant she didn’t need to keep quiet. She screamed so loud my ears are still ringing.”
The love I have for my brother can never be discredited after tonight. If not for him, I would have ended this meeting five sentences ago with my fists.
Instead, I get to the point. “I was wondering if I could get an advance on my salary?”
Knox’s nonchalant reply shocks me. “Of course. Whatever you need.”
