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I try to make it seem as if my heart isn’t tattered into pieces. “Depends.” I wait until he’s almost frothing at the mouth before finalizing my reply. “Did the terms of this interview stipulate a buffet? I’m starving.”
Knox bumps my shoulder with his hip before signaling for a production crew member to bring me a sugar-coated donut.
31
NICOLE
As Bonnie adds a generous helping of blush to my cheeks, the executive producer of the show impatiently waiting for her to work her magic asks to speak with Knox.
Bonnie's brows stitch as firmly as mine when Knox checks if I’m okay being left unaccompanied with Bonnie. “Of course she’ll be fine.” Shetskshim before waving him away like she’s been dying for a minute alone with me.
I realize that is the case when she asks a second after he leaves, “Now that that’s out of the way, spill. What I’m hearing can’t be true. Not Laken. He’s the good apple in the bunch.”
“It’s true,” I reply, my voice as high with shock as hers. “He pled guilty.”
“I… It just…” She’s a little more aggressive with the mascara this time around. “It doesn’t make any sense. I saw how he looked at you and the pride in his eyes when you sang. It has to be a mistake.”
“I wish it were…” I snap my mouth shut when I realize what I said. I’m giving away that I had feelings for the man who tore my family apart. My parents are still together, but it’s never been as good as it was when all their children were sleeping peacefully under their roof.
I love Bonnie, but I wish she’d stop talking when she says, “I think I could forgive him.” When I peer up at her, she laughs before bopping my nose with the tip of my favorite lipstick. “What? That man is fine. I’d even consider his little brother just to sample those genes.”
“Bonnie!”
She laughs, grateful her taunt pulled me from my morose state. “That boy needs love. We all know he ain’t getting it here anymore.” She pulls the cap off the lipstick before leaning in with a sigh. “I’m glad you said something to Knox. I don’t think I could have held my tongue for a moment longer.” She gestures for me to pucker my lips. While sheening them up, she mutters, “You’ll survive his wrath better than the rest of us. He’s gone through road crew like underwear the past few days.”
I had wondered why the crew today seemed so unfamiliar.
I had assumed they were part of the talk show’s staff.
After a clear gloss to bring out the brightness of my lipstick, Bonnie steps back to admire her handiwork. “A priceless work of art.”
“If only my insides matched my outsides.” I squeeze her hand to assure her I deserve a sledging before shifting my eyes to the corridor the rooms sprout off.
God, I feel terrible about how I handled things earlier. River is as innocent as I wish his brother was. He doesn’t deserve the brunt of anger any more than he deserves to be yelled at by Knox.
Not willing to leave River upset for a moment longer, I ask Bonnie, “Do you think we can stall them for a few more minutes? I need to speak with River.”
“Honey, they’re so eager, they rocked up before the sun. I’m sure a couple more minutes won’t hurt them.” Her sassy attitude dips when her eyes lock on Knox on the other side of the living room. “You just might need a detour.” She nudges her head to Knox. “He’s extra clingy today, and you won’t get a single truth from River with him gawking over your shoulder.” A second after her eyes pop open, she knocks the glass canister she uses to clean her brushes off her makeup cart. It lands in my lap and sees me leaping to my feet. “I’m so sorry, Nik. I was rushing. I always make mistakes when I rush.”
Catching on to her ruse, I say, “That’s fine. I’ve got another skirt in my room.” I shift my eyes to Knox, who is watching our exchange with an arched brow, before assuring him, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
He peers down at my ruined skirt before jerking up his chin.
I mouth my thanks to Bonnie and race for the corridor, but instead of darting into my room, I continue down the hall until I’m standing outside River’s room.
“River, have you got a minute to speak?” When my question produces nothing but silence, I push open his door. “River…” I stray my eyes to the attached bathroom before dragging them over his empty bed. It looks like it hasn’t been slept in. The corners are pulled tight, and the pillows are propped against the studded headboard.
When I notice a thick book in the middle of his bed, I pace closer. The sun peeking through the drawn curtains at the side of his room reflects a phone book that’s been out of print for years. It’s open on business listings, and multiple motels and hotels have been crossed out in red ink.
River’s search was extremely thorough. He’s gone through dozens of listings; some look like they were scratched out more than once.
I drag my fingertip over a listing for a two-star motel several miles from here before pacing toward the window responsible for the chill in the air.
“River…” I call out again, hopeful he’s not upset enough to forgo the prime spot for my upcoming performance.
The acoustics on the roof are incredible, but they’re even more wondrous from the fire exit stairs only one floor below since they’re bounced off the buildings surrounding ours.
When I find the fire escape empty, I attempt to close the window. River has been a bit sniffly since our concert on the rooftop, though he’ll never admit that.
