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I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard.
“Have you thought about me at all, Kael? At any point over the last month have you wondered what I was doing? How I was coping? Were you worried about me at all?” I sound like I’ve been drinking with the way my words are all hiccuped and slurred. A sob breaks free from my chest. “Have I even crossed your mind once in all this time? Was I on your mind at all? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. I tell you I love you, and you say nothing. Nothing!”
Fuck this. I need to get out of here.
I’ve made some mistakes in my life, but Kael Jenkins might just be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. How many times can a girl put herself out there, only to have her heart broken once again?
Tears flow even harder as I scramble back out of the booth. Turning my back on him, I determinedly walk back in the direction of the front door, more broken glass, more sticky substances attaching themselves to the bottom of my shoes as I stride away from the disaster that is my life.
Kael watches me go, and then a moment later I hear his voice calling out behind me…
“Sienna, wait.”
But I don’t wait.
“Sienna! Stop, fuck—”
But I don’t stop. I don’t slow down, and I don’t turn back.
Making my way around the tables in the center of the room, I knock into Cassie delivering drinks to a nearby table.
“What’s the hurry?” she exclaims, grabbing her tray, looking bewildered and also a little concerned when she sees me crying. “Do you still want your drink? It’s coming, I was just…”
I sniffle, ducking my head as I make my way toward the front door. But before I reach it, I hear the sound of the microphone behind me on the stage,tap, tap, tap,and then the lights dim slightly, a flickering yellow hue that makes the smoke sallow and the exit sign look all that more appealing.
Music begins playing. A guitar.
But it’s not the same music as before; it’s definitely not the same kind of guitar playing as before. This music is hauntingly beautiful, the kind of sound that awakens your emotions and sends chills hurtling across your skin.
It’s the kind of music that needs to be played on repeat, over and over again. The kind of sound that’s impossible to unhear once it’s buried deep inside you.
I come to a standstill.
Rubbing at the bridge of my nose, I slip my glasses down. I have a headache brewing and I really just want to go home.
More strumming of guitar strings.
I turn slowly, and then I see a dark shadow standing in the middle of the stage. Kael steps out into the light, and his head is tilted down slightly as the opening notes of a song begin to play.
His eyes search the room, and when they find mine, it’s like he suddenly can’t look anywhere else. The gentle strumming continues, really softly.
I know the melody. Of course I do.
He’s playing Willie Nelson, and “Always On My Mind” has never before sounded so poignant.
I inhale deeply. Exhale, slowly.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
The familiar lines of Kael’s face and the pained look in his eyes make me ache. But there’s something softer in his expression now.
I can’t stop staring at him.
My throat hurts, and my eyes itch.
Kael’s natural confidence in his own musical ability comes through the longer he plays, singing about all the little things he should have said and done, and by the time he reaches the chorus I’m so awestruck that I feel my knees trembling.
It physically hurts to look at him. It hurts to love him even more.
