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“Then what is it that you want, Sheena,” he asked carefully.
What did she want? The answer to that was a huge blank, as usual.
She sighed. “I don’t know what I want. I hate that I don’t have a purpose in life, and I don’t know how to get it.”
Keya pulled her chair closer to Sheena’s and put an arm around her. “You studying for a PhD is something, Sheena.”
“That’s just it, Keya. I keep studying and studying. But what good is it if I don’t make some use of the degrees I’m accumulating? Raashi and you both have made use of your degrees and are doing something with your lives. You’re achieving your goals. You have a career, and you’re earning a living. But me, I’m doing nothing. I have no goals, no purpose?—”
“—as of now, you mean,” Raashi said. “There was a time when you wanted to help people, and that’s why you’ve never given up studying psychology, isn’t it?”
At one time, she’d known exactly what she wanted. But one person and one night had changed everything.
“How can I help others when I don’t trust my own judgement?” she said softly. “She’s dead…because of me. He’s… I totally misjudged him.”
Her friends gasped. She’d kept so much bottled inside her, but tonight, it was like everything was spilling out.
“My dear girl,” her grandfather began, “What happened that night wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your mistake, and yet you blame yourself for it till date. Ten years have passed, and you still haven’t moved on.”
A tear ran down her cheek. She was so tired of everything. She wanted to be like her friends. She wanted to wake up to a drive, to a goal that she had set for herself.
Raashi stood and came to her side. She knelt in front of her and took her hands in hers. “Keya and I finding our purpose doesn’t mean that you have to find yours right away. It doesn’t make you any less, becauseyouare not less. You hear me? You are so much more. You are the bravest and the boldest one of the three of us.”
“You are not a disappointment, Sheena,” her grandfather said. “Nor have I failed in giving you direction. Just because you don’t have a job right now doesn’t mean that you’ll never have one. And so what if you’re living on your family’s wealth? Thank God we have money, and you have used this time to heal. Because what you went through was also a lot of mental agony, not to mention the harassment you faced because you stood up for that girl. Maybe you needed these ten years to recover. Maybe you need more time to recover, and none of us have realized that. I’m just glad you have the money and means to take your time to heal. And I apologize again if you felt differently.”
“Mental wounds do take time to heal, Sheena,” Raashi said. “Ten years ago, when no one stood up for that girl, you were the one who did. You fought for her, even though she wasn’t really your friend. You are kind and strong, and we love you. But sweetie, it is time to move on.”
“I agree,” Keya squeezed her shoulder. “You have to try.”
“That’s just it. I don’t know how.”
“Maybe you need to go live somewhere else for a few months,” Keya suggested. “You haven’t really lived by yourself ever. Maybe, live a few months in a different city and see how it goes.”
“But where and do what?”
“Actually, I may have an idea on that,” her grandfather intervened. “One of my old friends is a Human Resources and Psychology professor from Cambridge. He’s working in Dubai currently, in a temporary position for a while. He’s been invited to speak at several company events and the likes. Why don’t I get you in touch with him? Maybe he can mentor you. Why don’t you stay in Dubai for a couple of months and see if the change in air helps you? Maybe living by yourself will give you the direction you’re lacking.”
“That’s a brilliant idea,” Keya cheered. “What do you think, Sheena?”
“Yeah, this sounds perfect,” Raashi concurred.
Maybe Dubai could be the reboot she needed in life. Maybe living in a new city, away from the past and the people who knew her and judged her, could help her find herself again. Maybe she could spend a few months there and find a new perspective to her life, while also studying for her PhD. Perhaps this change was exactly what she needed. She was, anyway, tired of living in Mumbai and listening to the whispers that followed her at every event her mom forced her to attend. A surge of excitement burst in her chest. This could be the change she desperately needed.
4
Dubai
His muscles were burning with all the exertion, his bones heavy and his body sore. Perspiration drenched his bare skin, but conceding defeat wasn’t an option. It never was. Blood dripped from the corner of his lip where he’d taken a mistimed hit—thanks to his lack of concentration because ofher. Three days had passed, and he still hadn’t forgotten her face, the feel of her body in his arms, and her scent—that intriguing scent he still couldn’t put a finger on. He should have learned it when he had the chance because then he wouldn’t be thinking of it each time he caught a whiff of any fragrance. Fuck. Focus. He had to focus.
Sweat dripped down his forehead in a constant pool; he flicked it off with the back of his hand. His opponent was too smart, too sharp and knew all of his weaknesses. Rajiv Mehra looked into the face of his closest friend, Aaryan Rajpoot, as he circled him in the ring. They were equally matched in physique and strength, and had been training together for years. Bare-knuckle fighting was their forte, and they both excelled at it. The two of them were dressed alike—in only a pair of shorts, their hands wrapped for protection, and their bodies gleaming as a result of their strenuous combat.
Knowing one another’s moves and anticipating from where the next hit came, was what made the fight interesting, challenging even. Like him, Aaryan was breathing hard and was sweaty and dirty. They each knew the other’s weaknesses and used them to their advantage, every single time. This and tennis were the two sports they regularly competed against each other in, and that too, late in the evening when it was just them in this sports club.
Aaryan came at him suddenly, but Rajiv was expecting his move. At the last minute, he tilted to the left and jabbed Aaryan in the face.
“Bastard,” Aaryan cursed. “Faces are off limits.”
Rajiv smirked. “Since when do you care about your face, fucker? Courting some woman, are you?”
