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“It was okay.” I shrug. I really only open this box when I’m talking to my therapist and I haven’t talked to her in months.
Hmm, reminder to circle back to that.
“I definitely preferred the holidays we spent with my uncle and aunt and my grandparents when everyone lived here. If my dad was playing on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, it was usually just me and Lucas and him.”
“Are you close with your brother?” He asks and I nod, remembering the years we weren’t but how things changed the second I got my license and he needed a ride.Then I was suddenly the best sister in the world.
“Yeah, he’s like my best friend now. Pain in my ass though.” I chuckle. “He’s about a year and a half younger than me, so you can imagine in our later teen years we had practically all the same friends and went to the same parties. He’s a junior at NYU now and he’s killing it. I’m so proud of him. He comes home this week and I’m really excited. It’s weird being home and he’s not here.” I turn to look at him and note that he’s staring at me intently. “Sorry, I’m rambling.” I giggle nervously and he shakes his head.
“I could listen to you talk all day.” He smiles and I have to actively stop myself from squealing because,God, he’s sweet.“And it’s refreshing, being able to listen and not having to talk so much.”
“What about you?” I ask. “Do you have siblings?”
“No, just me, but I always wanted a brother,” he says. “Or a sister, really. Just someone to talk to while I was at home. I think that’s why I did so well in school. I was so bored at home, all I did was study.”
“Were your parents not around?”
“They were and they were great but, you know it’s not the same.”
“I get it. Did you have a lot of friends? I imagine you being so popular.” I laugh thinking about him being captain of a sports team and the guy all of the girls wanted to date.
“I did have friends but I wouldn’t call myself popular. Like I said, I was always studying. So, there were many parties and things I missed out on because I was so focused on school.”
“Your parents must have been so proud of you.”
“Yeah, eventually.” He nods and I wonder if there is more to that story. “My parents were young when they had me and I think they were just caught up in their own lives for a while. They weren’t bad parents, just…a little checked out sometimes. They always showed up but it was usually between their things and I sometimes felt like I was just something to check off their list to prove they had done good parenting that day.” He leans forward, his eyes not on me, and narrows them slightly. “I don’t usually talk about them this early on with someone.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” I wince because I’m the same way when it comes to talking about my mother. It usually takes a few shots of tequila for me to be really comfortable with someone to unleash the Rebecca Graham saga.
His eyes snap to mine and his hand reaches up to rub my cheek, then his lips press against mine gently. “No,” he says when he pulls away. “I feel comfortable with you.”
“Me too.” I drop my hand to his thigh and rub it gently before giving it a squeeze. It wasn’t meant to be sexual so much as intimate, and I’m shocked at the ease I feel around him already.
“So, what are you doing for Christmas?” he asks.
“Why? Want to spend it with me already?” I give him a cheeky smirk.
“I would love to spend it with you,” he says and I almost choke on my coffee. “I assume you’re probably busy with your family though.”
“Aren’t you?”
“I usually work late Christmas Eve and early the day after Christmas so I’m too exhausted to travel to see extended family. My parents are going on a cruise this year.”
“For Christmas? They aren’t going to spend it with you?”
“I got it for them.” He chuckles. “Honestly, sitting through a dinner with my parents and all my aunts badgering me about getting married gets old. I go visit my parents a few times a year in Florida, and trust me, that’s enough.” He laughs. “But don’t worry about me.” He taps my nose. “I usually go to Chris’ house. He got divorced recently so we’re going to be struggling a bit in the food department because his wife could cook, but I think we are just going to go out for dinner.”
Part of me wants to invite them both but maybe that’s crossing a line of boss-employee turned whatever this is. Besides Christmas has become my dad, Lucas, and my thing. We have traditions that are some of my favorite things of the year. My dad can’t cook so we typically go out for Christmas Eve dinner and order in for Christmas Day. One year we attempted it ourselves which was an epic failure. We could have hired someone to come in to cook for us, but my dad likes it just being the three of us.
So now, we rotate different cuisines and orderthatin. This year, we decided on Indian food and I can’t wait.We spend the day drinking eggnog and watching Christmas movies with the intermittent check-ins on whatever game is on. The three of us go on a walk at some point, which usually includes Avery from next door, and Christmas Day always ends with watching Home Alone where nine times out of ten I wake up at two in the morning to both Lucas and my dad asleep on their respective couches and the lights from the Christmas tree winking at me.
I’m not ready to bring someone into that, especially when I’m not sure what we even are.But is that rude?
No, you guys aren’t anything. You had great sex once. Relax, Rae.
“We go out for Christmas Eve dinner and then order take-out for the day, so I get it.” I laugh.
“You mentioned your dad and your brother, do you see your mom?” He asks and immediately I stiffen.
