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She froze as the words pummeled her bruised heart. Tonight? Her chest heaved, and she struggled for her next breath. “Now?”
Hafiz nodded. “I had a meeting with the sultan earlier this evening.” He stared at the keys as though he wanted to snatch them back. “If any of my actions prevent the forthcoming marriage, I will lose everything.”
“Your father threatened you?” she whispered in horror.
“The sultan warned me,” he corrected. “And I can’t help but wonder if he knows about you. Maybe not your name or where you live, but that I have someone like you in my life.”
Someone like you... The phrase scratched at her. What did that mean? More importantly, what did it mean to Hafiz?
She stood in front of him, and placed her hand on his arm, offering him comfort. Not that he needed it. Hafiz had the strength to stand alone. “You shouldn’t be forced to marry someone you don’t love.”
Her words seemed to startle him. “Lacey,” Hafiz said in a groan as he cupped her cheek with his hand. “A royal marriage never has anything to do with love. It has always been that way.”
She closed her eyes as she leaned into his hand, knowing it would be the last time he would caress her. She gathered the last of her self-discipline and withdrew from his touch. Energy arced and flared between them.
“I will miss you, Hafiz,” she said brokenly as her throat closed up. The tears she thought couldn’t happen beaded on her eyelashes.
Hafiz let out a shuddering breath. He swept his fingertip against the corner of her eye, taking her tears with him. The moisture clung to his knuckle, and he rubbed it into his skin with his thumb, silently sharing her agony.
The image took a chink out of her hard-earned resolve. Lacey wrapped her arms around her stomach before she crumbled altogether. “I had so many questions to ask you, and now I can’t remember what they were.” All except for one that danced on her tongue. “Did you ever love me?”
Silence throbbed in the air.
Lacey blinked at the question that had tumbled from her mouth. Of all the things to ask, her mind screamed.
Hafiz went unnaturally still.
“I don’t know why I asked.” She shrugged as her pain intensified. “Please, don’t answer that.”
The words were ripped from deep within her. She desperately wanted to know the answer. She never questioned it before, but she had been living in a fantasy.
Lacey had always felt Hafiz loved her. It was in his touch, in his eyes, and in his smile. But he never said the words, even when she chanted her declaration of love in the height of ecstasy.
It was too late to find out. If he didn’t love her, she would never recover. If he did love her, then she would never let go. Even if he was married, even if he kept her hidden. And she couldn’t let that happen.
Hafiz frowned. “Lacey...”
“Ssh.” She silenced him by pressing her fingers against his parted lips. “Please.”
He covered her hand with his and placed soft kisses in the heart of her palm. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said against her skin.
“Then, come away with me!” She impulsively tangled her fingers with his and pulled him away from the door. His torn expression shamed her. She drew back and let go of his hand. “I’m sorry. That was wrong.”
He moved swiftly and crushed her against him. “I can’t leave Rudaynah,” he whispered, his breath ruffling her hair. “And you can’t stay. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’m only half alive when you are not around.”
He didn’t want to give her up, but he had the strength to do it when she wanted to ignore the inevitable. Hafiz would flourish without her while she wilted into a slow death. “In time, you’ll forget all about me.”
He tightened their embrace. “How can you say that?”
“You will,” she predicted with a sigh. It happened to her before, and nothing she did would stop it from happening again. “You need to leave.” Now, before it became impossible. Before she threw herself at his feet and begged him to stay.
“Yes.” He gradually relaxed his hold but didn’t let go. “This was already a risk.”
