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He looked at the floor, unable to meet her eyes, even though she had the right to judge him. “How do you know about that?” he asked hoarsely.
The tapping of her toe halted. The silence vibrated around him. “I wish I had heard it from you.”
Hafiz said nothing. He wished he could have denied it, but he’d withstood the disgrace for nearly a decade. It should be no different now.
But it was. He didn’t want Lacey to know about his mistakes. About the person he used to be.
Lacey was the first to break the silence. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Because he was a better person when he was with Lacey. He could be the man he wanted to be, the prince he strived to become for his country. She believed he could do the impossible, and he knew he could with her by his side. Had she known about his past, would she still have believed? He knew she wouldn’t.
But Lacey knew now. And her opinion meant the most to him. He didn’t know how he would stand up against her disillusionment. “It’s not something I’m proud of.”
“So you hid it from me?” she asked. He heard the anger wobbling in her voice. “You only showed me one side of you? I thought we had been closer than that.”
Hafiz pulled open a curtain and let the bright sunlight stream in the dark room. The image of his beloved country didn’t soothe the twinge inside him. He was drowning in regret and there was no hope of escape.
He bunched his hands into tight fist, imagining the relief if he punched through the glass. He could hear the shattering window in his mind, but he wouldn’t act on the impulse. But, oh, what he wouldn’t do to get out of this room...away from Lacey’s steady gaze.
“You were just a teenager when you lost your title as crown prince?”
“No, I was an adult. I was twenty-one.” Hafiz had a feeling that was the easiest question he would be facing from Lacey.
“Really?” She made a sympathetic cluck with her tongue. “That’s harsh. Being twenty-one is all about pushing the limits. Pushing boundaries.”
He shook his head. It should have warmed his heart that Lacey automatically defended him, but he knew it wasn’t going to last. “It’s different for me.”
“Because you’re a prince? The heir to the throne?”
“Because my country came into a great deal of wealth when I was eighteen. I was sent to the States to get an education. To learn how to protect and grow the wealth.” He took a deep breath and turned to face her. “Instead I spent it.”
Her eyes widened as her mouth open and shut. “All of it?” she croaked out.
“No. It doesn’t matter how many millions I spent.” The amount was branded into his soul for eternity, but the numbers could never convey the suffering of others. “I spent it. I stole it.” He still flinched at the stripped-down version of his action. “I stole the money from the people of Rudaynah for my own pleasure. I was the playboy prince the tabloids love to hate.”
Lacey stared at him as if he was a stranger to her. It was better than looking at him with the disgust he felt for himself. “That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
“It was me,” he said brutally. “Look it up. The sultan tried to hide the story, but you can find it if you look hard enough. My spending habits had been legendary,” he said, humility threading his voice.
“What stopped it?”
“The sultan received reports and called me home. The moment I returned I saw how Rudaynah had yet to see any progress. It humbled me. Shamed me more than any lecture or punishment.”
Lacey frowned. “And your punishment for spending the money was losing your right to the throne?”
“No. I was stripped of any responsibility or authority. Of any rights or privileges. I was spared getting lashes because of my royal status. I didn’t leave Rudaynah until I could regain my father’s trust. And I still didn’t leave the borders until I felt it was necessary.”
“But that doesn’t explain to me how you lost your birthright.”
The punishment he’d received was paltry considering his crime, but the sultan didn’t want people to know the whole story. “One of the reports the sultan received had to do with my mistress at the time.”
