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“I don’t like the sounds of that,” Lacey said. “Am I in trouble? Is he going to use me to get to you?”
“I should have predicted it,” Hafiz muttered. “The sultan had done this before.”
“When? Ten years ago?” Lacey took a deep breath. “Hafiz, I need to know. What happened to your last mistress? The one who got pregnant?”
CHAPTER SEVEN
HAFIZ LEANED AGAINST the windowpane and closed his eyes as the guilt swamped him. He never forgot that time in his life, and he refused to forgive himself. The actions he took, the mistakes he made were part of him and had influenced his decisions to this day. And yet, he tried not to look too closely and inspect his flaws.
“Her name was Elizabeth,” he said quietly. “I had already earned my reputation as the playboy prince when I met her in Monte Carlo.”
“What was she like?” Lacey asked.
“Beautiful. Professional. Ambitious.”
Lacey frowned. “You make her sound cold and unfeeling.”
What he had shared with Elizabeth had nothing to do with warmth and affection. “She made her way through life as a mistress. Our relationship had been purely physical, and we both wanted it that way.”
Because he hadn’t been interested in romance or commitment. He had been too busy partying, gambling and exploring the world outside of Rudaynah and royal life.
Hafiz forced himself to continue. He knew Lacey needed to hear this. “We had only been together for a few months when I found out she was pregnant.” Hafiz looked away. “I didn’t handle the news well. I wish I could take back that moment and react differently.”
“What did you do?” Lacey asked.
He didn’t want to give a voice to the memories that haunted him. The moments that had demonstrated what kind of man he had been. Only he hadn’t acted like a man.
“I was furious. Scared,” he admitted with a sigh. “I knew that a baby was going to change everything. I swore the baby couldn’t possibly be mine. I didn’t want it to be mine.”
Lacey rested her hand against his shoulder. “I can’t imagine you acting like that, Hafiz.”
“It was me. A spoiled and selfish prince who knew his freedom was about to be taken away from him. I accused Elizabeth of being unfaithful. I wasn’t going to let her trap me or extort money from me.” Hafiz raked his hand through his hair. “I hate the way I treated her.”
“That may have been your first reaction, but I’m sure you saw reason once you calmed down.”
Hafiz shook his head. Lacey thought too highly of him. He slowly turned around and faced her. “I left Elizabeth,” he said, watching the surprise in Lacey’s eyes. He hunched his shoulders as the remorse weighed heavily on him. “My father had demanded that I return home, and I used that as a way to hide from my responsibilities.”
Lacey stared at him in disbelief. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“That was the lowest time of my life. I was trying to hide what I had done and conceal the person I was. Hide everything from the sultan and my countrymen. At times, I tried to hide the truth from myself.”
“Impossible.”
“It wasn’t that hard to do. I wanted to convince myself that Elizabeth was the villain. I believed she tried to trick me and that she got what she deserved for attempting to get her claws into a prince.”
“When did you decide she was not the villain?”
“It wasn’t just one event. I started seeing how I treated everyone during that time. I should have treated her better. I had cut off all contact. And somehow I had convinced myself that I did the right thing.”
“Did you try to find her after that and make it right?”
He nodded. “I wasn’t able to travel, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me. I was done making excuses. I had one of my representatives track her down.” Hafiz took a deep breath. “But I was too late. Elizabeth had gotten an abortion.”
The silence permeated the room as Hafiz remembered getting that call. He had shattered from the grief. He had never been the same man after knowing he hadn’t protected and provided for his unborn son.
