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I bit my lip and forced myself to take another breath, but I didn’t feel any calmer—and my thoughts didn’t stop zipping around. I barely even noticed the waves licking at my bare ankles, and only then did I realize that Val had been speaking to me the entire time I’d been monologuing to myself. My cheeks flushed, and I glanced down at the pale sand gently churning against my skin, knowing the older witch was watching me expectantly.
I racked my brain for what she might have just asked me to do.Right. Water. Waves. I’m probably just drawing up a bigger wave.That made sense, and it didn’t seem too complicated. I really shouldn’t be this distracted.Damn Fenris for having to leave…and damn my wolf for caring so much.After all, Ben and I had never lived together, and we’d only gotten to see each other once or twice a week if I was lucky. It had certainly never kept me from getting my job done or completing my studies.Seriously, get a grip!
I tried to shake off these feelings by straightening my shoulders. Staring down at the water, I extended my hand toward it. I imagined I could feel the coolness of it in my hands, imagined that I could feel its fluidity as it rushed by me and—
A pathetic wave slapped my leg, and I snorted as I glanced down, not even sure I’d done that. For all I knew, it was natural. I made a frustrated noise and dropped my hands to the side.
Val cleared her throat softly, and when I looked up, she gave me an amused smile. “Would you like me to demonstrate?” she asked gently, motioning to the water. “While some perceive water as a lunar element, it’s still elemental magic on its own. And we’re under broad daylight.”
I sighed. “I feel like I’m about to crawl out of my skin,” I admitted. “I mean, maybe watching you do it again would help, but I can’t even settle my thoughts, and that’s the first step here.”
Val didn’t speak for a minute and rubbed her chin. “Interesting. Have you gone for a run as a wolf today?”
“No.” I frowned. “What does that have to do with anything? I could barely even sense magic in that state, much less cast a spell.”
“True, but if you’re feeling that restless, it might be your wolf’s energy. Fenris is gone, and I’ve heard wolves can get…difficult to live with when they’re separated from their fated mate and the bond hasn’t been completed. Of course, I’m no shifter and no expert, but Fenris isn’t the only wolf I’ve met over the years.” She offered me a small smile. “On top of that, you and your wolf have only just met, so to speak. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume the two of you haven’t found a balance just yet.”
My shoulders dropped, and another sigh escaped me. “Yeah,” I said, chewing on my lip. “You’re right about that last part.”
Sometimes, when things were quiet, I forgot my wolf was there, only to be reminded—sometimes forcefully—that I was a shifter when my wolf slammed into my sense of self-control over something she wanted. And Fenris was definitely one of them. “If I shift, though, what if I get stuck again? I haven’t exactly mastered the whole process.”
Val’s look somehow got evenmoreknowing, and I found myself bristling a little before she caught my reaction.Damn,I thought, rubbing the back of my neck.She’s probably onto something with the discord between my wolf and me. I’d never been irritated with Val before, especially when all the kindly witch was doing was helping me with my magic.
“That’s something you’re going to have to master sooner or later, Celeste,” she said gently. “And since practicing magic doesn’t seem to be on the table right now, I’d say it’s a perfect moment to give it a shot. Besides, if you’re having a hard time shifting back, you have Walter and me, and in the worst-case scenario, Fenris will be back shortly. He’ll guide you if he must.”
After a moment of thought, I nodded. “You’re right,” I said, stepping out of the waves and back onto the warm sand. “I have to learn one way or another.” And if this wasn’t magic, it was still useful.
I took a deep breath, stepping away from Val in case my wolf did something weird when I ceded control to her. As I closed my eyes, I allowed myself to relax that straining hold of her, giving into the concern for Fenris, the desire for him, the yearning to just run off all this excess energy. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself looking up at Val, the sun warming my four paws.
Relief spread through me, and I huffed a breath out through my nostrils, the wind tickling my whiskers as I shook out my thick white coat.
“Celeste?!”
I whirled around at the sound of my best friend’s voice, watching her as she jogged across the sand with a huge smile on her face. I wagged my bushy tail, trying to assure her I was still friendly and still Celeste. Just, you know, fuzzy.
Abi didn’t seem concerned, however, and threw her arms around my neck. “Oh. My.God,” she squealed, shoving her face into my thick fur. “You are socool. And soft. And pretty. Oh my god! I can’t believe you didn’t show me your wolf sooner!” She leaned back, still running her hands over my coat, and I couldn’t help but find it incredibly satisfying.No wonder Fenris likes this so much, I thought, panting happily as she smoothed her hands over my skull and stroked my ears.
Unfortunately, my patience was quickly waning, and I felt my wolf getting bored with the attention. The novelty wore off within a few minutes, and I backed away, giving Abi’s sleeve a playful nip before dashing off, her laughter ringing in my ears long after I’d left her in the dust.
I had no idea how long I’d been running, but when I returned to the spot on the beach where Val and I had been practicing, she and Abi were long gone. My tongue hanging out of my mouth as my sides heaved, I leaned down to sniff at the sand. Tracking them back to Fenris’s home, I sat outside the front entrance and woofed softly. No one came to the door, so I barked a little more loudly, rearing back onto my hind legs to paw at the handle.
I hadn’t made any progress, but someone opened the door a moment later. I sat back down, offering Abi a wolfish grin as she ushered me inside. “Have a good jog, puppy?” she teased, reaching out to pet me again like she just couldn’t help herself. “Do you need a home? A drink of water? Maybe I’ll adopt you!”
Snorting, I reached out to playfully nip at her shorts.
“Hey!” she exclaimed, swatting at my muzzle. “Keep that up, and I’ll charge Fenris for a new wardrobe!”
I trotted away, my claws clicking on the tile floor as I made my way down the hall to the vast storeroom where Val kept all her supplies. Stopping outside the closed door, I began to paw at it.
Thankfully, Val was inside, cataloging something that made my nose itch. I sneezed, and she gave me a fond smile.
“Feeling better?” she asked, leaving her chore behind. I was grateful she closed the door, even if the heavy herbal scent lingered on her dark linen dress as we walked to one of the living rooms, where Abi joined us moments later.
Val sat on one of the couches while Abi perched herself on an armchair, both of them watching me as I splayed out on one of the rugs. My claw caught a snag, and I snarled, trying to shake myself free as I wondered why Fenris would keep something so unfriendly to wolves in his home. The thought flittered away, and eventually, my skin began to crawl at the feeling of two sets of eyes on me.What?,I wanted to demand, but all that came out was a short bark, my ears falling flat against my skull. My tail curled up behind my hind legs.
“Are you ready to shift back?” Val prompted.
I nodded, but nothing happened.
