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But every time I did a double take, just to make sure he was still there, my mind was set at ease. He was so perfect that I might have imagined him, but I hadn’t. He was real, mine, and here to stay.
My gaze wandered to the other bassinet, which had remained empty in the corner of the room since Xander and his brothers had put it together. At the time, it had given me so much hope. After all, they wouldn’t have constructed it if getting Ryder back was a lost cause.
Now, we finally knew where Rylan’s twin brother was. We knew who was keeping him from us. I still believed that he wouldn’t be harmed—at least, not physically.
There were more ways to hurt a child than violence and neglect. Unless we wrestled him from Samuel’s grasp, he would grow up like Clinton had. Like Marianne. Ridiculed, held to insane standards, and pushed to the breaking point.
Samuel might even treat Ryder worse.
I sank onto the bed and hugged myself, guilt coursing through me. Xander and I might not have our own blood curses, but we’d inherited something similar. Intergenerational trauma, they called it. We’d been so determined that it would stop with us.
If we could bring Ryder home, maybe we could make good on that. Until then, my heart hung heavy.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the door open.
“Can I sit next to you?” Xander asked.
I tensed but nodded.
Even when we were at odds with each other, there was nothing my body wanted more than being close to him, in his arms.
The bed creaked softly when Xander took a seat. His thigh pressed flush to mine.
“I’m sorry about that, Cheeks. Raising my aura around you. In front of him.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head. “It was wrong.”
I glanced his way. “Are you angry with me?”
“I’m… No.” He frowned and shook his head quickly. “Of course, I’m not angry. Not with you.” He paused, licking his lips, then pinning them between his teeth for a moment. “Denny’s right. You’re so brave, I can hardly fathom it. And so selfless.”
“I’m not trying to be selfless. I’m trying to rescue our son.”
“So am I,” Xander said. “But you have to understand why I can’t send you to Samuel, all wrapped up in a bow like you want. You’re suggesting I trade my mate for our son. Put you in danger so Ryder can be safe.” He raised his head and stared at me with glassy eyes. “It’d kill me.”
“Then, let me make the trade myself.” I took his hands in mine, squeezing them tightly. “You don’t have to do anything. I can fix this if you’ll just let me.”
“How can I let you? I’m not doing this Sophie’s Choice bullshit, Cheeks. It’s fucked up. It’s wrong. If it was me who had to go—”
“It’s already been you,” I reminded him. “You went to Las Vegas to seduce Melony for Ryder’s sake.”
“And I hated every goddamn minute of it!”
“But you did it anyway. You did it for our son. Now, it’s my turn. Even if it’s a matter of trading his life for mine—I’d die for our cubs, Xander. I know you would, too.”
He let out a breath, tears shining in his eyes. Xander didn’t often look vulnerable, but he did in that moment. If I tapped my finger to his chest, he’d shatter like glass.
The moment passed quickly, though. Xander set his jaw and lowered his brow with determination.
“There’s another way,” he insisted. “There has to be. We just need to find it.” He shook his head. “You’re not going. I don’t wanna hear about this again.”
“But—”
“I said no,” he snapped, his hands tightening so hard around mine that it hurt.
I drew back in shock. This was almost as bad as feeling his aura. Worse, maybe. No one else was around to share in this discomfort. I had to shoulder it all on my own.
“Okay.” Carefully, I pulled my hands free of his. “I’m…I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.”
His face fell, and he grasped my shoulders. He moved his hands down my arms soothingly.
