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“Nah. You’re just getting smaller. He’s the exact same size.”
I startled awake, nearly knocking Felicity off the couch in the process. She awoke herself as I caught her and pulled her to safety.
Morning light filled the lodge. The diaper bag was on the floor where we’d left it next to our discarded shoes. The carrier was there next to it, and it was empty.
A sharp shock of pain hit my chest like a bullet, then radiated through the rest of my body.
Gone. Again. Already. We barely slept—we didn’t sleep, and still—
Before my blood pressure shot up so high I gave myself a stroke, I scanned the living room.
Sure enough, Dylan was there, sprawled out on the floor. Kingston sat in his wheelchair, with Rylan lying on his lap, his little legs kicking in the air.
“Jesus fuckin—” I collapsed back against the couch, throwing an arm around Felicity’s waist and pulling her back with me. “You two nearly just killed me. That’s my son you’ve got there!”
“You mean my godson? No shit.” Kingston hunched over and beamed down at Rylan. “Hey there, little man.” Rylan kicked his feet in reply, coming within a couple inches of knocking Kingston in the mouth. “Oh, I see how it is. Yeah, you’ve got two good legs, big friggin’ whoop. Rub it in, why don’t ya.”
If my heart hadn’t still been pounding like it was trying to break through my ribs, I would’ve pinched myself.
It was the happiest I’d seen Kingston in a while.
“Maybe he’ll be a kicker,” Dylan suggested. “Carry on the ol’ Miller family football tradition.”
“I thought that died with you,” Kingston shot back at him. “Every ball you’ve ever kicked came back up and smacked you in the face.”
“Maybe I meant to do that, huh? Maybe I like balls in my—” Dylan scowled and reached for Rylan as Kingston howled with laughter. “You know what? Screw you guys. Give me a turn with my nephew.”
“Fuck no! It’s still my turn.”
“Hey! Language!” I cut in, not that anyone listened.
“Aw, c’mon, King! Just for a sec—”
I glanced at Felicity. She looked exhausted but amused.
“Can you imagine if they were both here?” she whispered, settling deeper beneath my arm as Kingston and Dylan continued to bicker.
“It’s a good thing we had two,” I replied. “Those two were never good at sharing. When Ryder’s with us again, they won’t have to.”
Felicity only yawned in reply. Under my arm, she was sweet as a kitten. Sleepy as one, too.
“We’ll build the crib today and call the pack in tomorrow,” I murmured, aware she was probably only half-listening. If that. “It’s a full moon, and I haven’t run with them in a while. Plus, they’ll wanna see the little guy.”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “Everyone will.”
A few moments later, I felt her head grow heavy against my bicep.
She’d fallen back asleep.
* * *
Building the crib proved to be easier said than done. Dylan made the trip to the hardware store to pick up the supplies, while Kingston and I blocked out the dimensions we’d need. Before Dylan even got back home, King and I came to the same disappointing conclusion. It wouldn’t be a day project. In last night’s jet-lagged delirium, I’d vastly underestimated the amount of work this would take.
And so, Dylan was sent on a side quest, this one taking him to the furniture store out on the edge of town. He returned with two bassinettes, one for Rylan, and one for Ryder when he was finally home safe. We got the hardware for the cribs unloaded and tucked beneath a tarp to keep it dry. It was a project for after Ryder was here with us again. We could spend as much time as we needed then, shaping, sanding, painting, and perfecting. They’d be done by the time the boys outgrew their bassinettes.
It felt like a promise I’d made with the universe.If I build two cribs, you’ll make sure I have two babies to put in them. You’ll bring Ryder back to us.
* * *
