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The sun shines through the window bold and bright. It's warm on my face, rousing me awake. My phone is still in my hand, firmly in my grip. Lifting it to my ear, I listen.
“Hello?” I ask, but no one is there.
Placing the phone on my nightstand, I rub my palms against my forehead, forcing myself to sit up. I'm exhausted. I have no idea what time I fell asleep or if she was still talking as I dozed off, or if in some dreamy haze I said goodnight to Sia at all.
Walking to the kitchen, I pick up the painting and hold it out. It's crazy how she was able to capture me so well with just some color and a few strokes of her brush. I can't shake the idea she had been able to see me all the way to my soul.
My eyes search the room, finding the perfect spot for it on the wall beside my couch. My home isn't huge, but it suits me just fine. A one bedroom cabin at the base of the gorge, within a ten minute drive to town.
The roof is made of slate for the heavy snow in the winter months, and a wood stove in the corner of the living room is the only heat I need. The kitchen and living room are basically one room, the only separation is a small patch of tile in the kitchen.
Built in the seventies, but solid as a rock, I've only done some minor upgrades. The kitchen floor and island countertop, new windows, and reinforcing the front porch is all I've been able to afford.
I'm not a man that needs much. Simple and functional is fine with me.
Tapping the nail into the thick beam of the wall, I hang the painting and take a long step back. It's perfect. I can see it from anywhere in the room, even my bedroom if the door is open.
Crossing my arms, I'm overwhelmed with the urge to see her. Not just an urge, but a need. Tapping the pads of my fingers against my mouth, I can't stop myself from thinking it's something I have to do.
I have to see her. No, you can't just drive to the city and show up out of nowhere. That's crazy, Mark!
Dragging my fingertips through my hair, I pull it tight against my scalp. This is nuts. All I want to do is hop in my truck and drive straight there. Closing my eyes, I run my hands down my face.
I have to talk to Ryder and Jenna.
This feeling isn't going to go away. If I haven't been able to get her out of my head for weeks, then this isn't going to disappear no matter how much I might wish it to.
Getting in my truck, I drive to Ryder's house. Jenna is going to kick my ass the second she hears about what happened. I slept with her friend. I broke the friend code and messed around with her without Jenna or Ryder knowing.
Climbing out of my truck, Ryder is standing at the top of the hill near the entrance to the farm with a hay fork and a wheel barrel.
“Hey fucker, what brings you here? Did you try to call? I've been in the barn all morning fixing that back wall.”
“No, I didn't call.”
His expression changes as he hears the seriousness in my voice. “Something up? You look like you got hit by a truck.”
“I feel like I got hit by a truck.” Rubbing the back of my neck, I try to force a smile. “Hey is Jenna around? I kind of need to talk to her.”
“Uh, yeah, she's inside. Come on,” Ryder says, laying the pitchfork down. He doesn't ask me anymore questions, but I can tell he knows something isn't right.
We go inside, and Ryder tells me to take a seat at the table. “I'll grab her, one second.”
Disappearing into the house, I stare blankly at the table. Picking at my nails, my heart is pounding in my chest. I feel guilty. I shouldn't, because Sia and I are both adults, but I can't stop my body from feeling heavy. I can't stop the knot in my gut or the acid that's sitting in the back of my throat.
“Hey, Mark,” Jenna says as she and Ryder come back into the kitchen. They both take a seat, their eyes studying my every move. “What's going on?”
Holding both hands open, I look up at her under hooded eyes. “Look, I need to tell you something and I don't want you to get mad. But if you do, I totally understand.”
Sitting back, she crosses her arms over her chest. “All right.”
“The night of your wedding, I did something. I did something that I can't take back, but I never meant for it to happen.”
“Will you just spit it out already,” Ryder snaps. “What the hell did you do?” Impatience coats his face as he frowns. “Stop going in circles and just say it.”
“I slept with Siobhan.”
“You what?” Jenna asks.
