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There’s no way he could know. You’re fine.
“I really am sorry,” he says. “For dumping all of that on you.”
“Seriously, it’s okay.” I try for a smile, but as nervous as I feel right now, I can only imagine how forced it looks. “I think it’s a side effect of caring about Sophie.”
“Right.” He nods. “I hope you know how much I... appreciate you.”
I hold my breath.
It’s just because of the job you’re doing. Stop reading into it.
“I’m glad,” I manage. “I’m happy here. With you guys.”
There’s a moment where neither of us says anything, and I know I should avert my eyes, that it’s weird to sit here and keep staring into his, but the problem is... he doesn’t look away either. Once again I find myself wishing I could know what he’s thinking.
“Good,” he says finally, his expression still hard to read. “I’m glad.”
I’m opening my mouth to say something, exactly what, I’m not sure, but Sophie chooses that moment to rejoin us, and it ends up not being an issue.
“Wanda says to take pictures,” Sophie tells me. “And to bring her back a shot glass.”
Aiden’s brow quirks. “A shot glass?”
“Yep.” Sophie nods. “It’s this tiny cup thing. I don’t know what you drink out of them though. They wouldn’t tell me. She has one from Alaska!”
“She has one from almost everywhere,” I chuckle.
“Andshe’s seen a moose,” Sophie says.
“I know,” Aiden says amusedly. “You’ve told me about the moose. Several times.”
Sophie hands me my phone back, looking at me expectantly. “So what are we going to do today?”
“Well,” I start. “I thought maybe we could go back to that parkyou liked. That was fun, right? It’s supposed to be a nice day today.”
“Yes! That sounds awesome.” She looks at her dad excitedly. “Can you come? Please? Just for a little while? I can swingsuperhigh. You’ve gotta see.”
“Oh, I...” Aiden looks at me helplessly, and I can only shrug. “Yeah,” he sighs, and I can tell by his expression that this is going to put him behind, but strangely that makes it that much sweeter. “I’d love to see the park. Why don’t you run upstairs and get dressed while I shower?”
Sophie squeals with glee before she makes a beeline for the stairs, Aiden hanging his head wearily before he tilts his face back up to meet mine. “I have to say... that smile does make the shitty night I’m going to have worth it.”
“Super dad,” I praise.
The corner of his mouth turns up, and I think it’s moments like these that make me the most unsure. Seeing him so carefree, with his easy smile and his pretty eyes and his hair still sticking up in places in the same way that Sophie’s does when she wakes up... it makes it that much harder to pretend I’m not more invested than I should be. That I’m not wondering what his hair might feel like under my fingers or what his smile might feel like against my skin.
“I guess I’d better go hop in the shower,” he says, sliding off his barstool.
I give him a tight nod as he heads off to the stairs, not relaxing until he’s out of sight and I’m alone. I blow out a breath, letting my face drop to the granite countertop and letting it cool the flush at my cheeks.
I’m not thinking about Aiden in the shower. Absolutely not.
—
I don’t know who is having more fun on the playground—Aiden or Sophie. The last hour has been filled with her squeals and his laughter, Aiden satisfying her every whim, be it pushing her on the swing or following her up the jungle gym ladder that is considerably too small for him, his above-average frame trying to maneuver through each section very entertaining to watch.
I keep my distance on the bench at the edge, content to watch them spend time together. Every so often, Aiden smiles at me like we’re sharing a secret, something that feels ironic considering wearesharing a secret, he just doesn’t realize. I don’t know how long it is before he plops down on the bench beside me while Sophie busies herself on the merry-go-round with a few other kids out this morning, his cheeks flushed and his breath labored.
“I think I’m getting old,” he laughs.
