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He’s proven me wrong every day, in big ways and small.
Silas told me how important his career has been to him; how driven he’s been with a clear focus on becoming the best chef he’s capable of being. I figured it would mean that eventually we’d find a balance between the two, that some of his focus on me would lessen.
Nope, not Silas. It’s like he’s found double the drive because he still puts a lot of fucking effort into his career. He loves going to work, it’s clear on his face every single day. Then when I see him again, it’s like a switch is flipped and all of him is devoted to me.
It’s kind of sexy and I kind of love it. Don’t tell him because I’m really trying to get him to chill the fuck out.
Just a little. Not a lot. Just around the edges.
I kind of like his caveman focus on me all the time, the way he loves me and cherishes me. It makes me feel special and important. It makes me feel seen.
I hope I give him the same kind of satisfaction and sense of peace because I value what he gives me so much. Even if he can be a little overbearing at times. Even if he doesn’t want me to do something but knows I’m going to anyway. I kinda like pushing his buttons.
We haven’t spent much time apart, even as some of my things started to migrate to Silas’ place. The one thing I put my foot down about was taking over any of my work stuff. Not only would it be too much to take back and forth, but Silas seemed to understand I needed my own space as I was coming to terms with the direction of my life.
I’ve always been someone who needed a little more time to downshift. The fact that Silas seemed to understand without a lot of back and forth, was what cemented things for me. He would give me a little nudge, but he wouldn’t push me too far too fast.
At the same time, he was firm in his feelings and very clear about expressing them while respecting mine.
If you can’t love a man like that, then who can you love?
It was almost St. Patrick’s Day, a little over a month after the MatchMakers Inc event, the day my whole life changed. I don’t know what it was about what we were doing which made me say it, which made me admit the depth of my feelings.
We weren’t doing anything special either, we were just cooking dinner. Together.
We were working side by side on something I knew the man in the kitchen with me loves deeply and finds value in. He’s always so patient with me in the kitchen while not being braggadocios about his own skills. Not when he’s teaching me at least. When he cooks for me without my help he’s like a damn peacock, but never when we’re working together.
He was showing me how to make handmade pasta, his arms wrapped around me as he showed me how to knead the dough and I was leaning back against his chest, not paying nearly enough attention. When he’s so close to me it’s always hard to keep my wits about me.
“I love you, Silas,” I sighed.
His entire body went rigid at the words which slipped out. I gasped, trying to escape, but he wasn’t going to let me. I knew it. His hands, sticky with dough, turned me by my shoulders. His eyes pierced me as my mouth opened and closed, trying to suck the words back in or maybe deny them, even though they were true. I don’t know, but it didn’t matter.
“You do?”
Who knew two words could gut me so completely? He looked so hopeful, so full of every good thing the world has to offer right there in front of me. I had to be brave. He needed me to be, and I was going to do it. For him. And for me.
“I do.” I reached up and cupped his face in my hands. “I don’t know why it took me so long to get the words out or maybe I didn’t fully realize it, but I do.”
Something changed in his eyes, and he growled lowly, “Say it again.”
I tried to keep the saucy smile off my face, but by the way he stepped into me and pressed us together, his hard cock very evident against my soft curves, he saw. “I love you, Silas.”
“I love you, Paisley. From the second I saw you.”
I wanted to roll my eyes at his blatant reminder of his notion of when I stopped being single, but I couldn’t because then his mouth was on mine, taking and tasting. I kissed him, giving just as much back to him, letting him feel my heart and the depths of my soul.
That was when a new campaign started. One hell bent on me moving in with him. He kept the same approach, not pushing too far. Not forcing me to move too quickly. I gave in a few weeks ago and the moment I agreed, I wondered why I had waited so long.
Now, today is the day I leave my apartment, where I’d been single for so long, and move in with Silas at his townhouse. I’m looking forward to it, but part of me is a little sad. It’s the end of something, which always tugs at me, even though I know it’s the beginning of something else. Something better.
There’s no question in my mind that this will be better. Life with Silas in it couldn’t be any other way.
Still, it’s hard to watch one chapter of your life end, no matter how beautiful and full of love the next one is.
I made sure to wake up before Silas today, knowing I would need a little time alone. To think. To process. To say goodbye.
When the curtain of the shower slides to the side and I find my man already naked and about to join me, I’m not even a little bit surprised. It’s a tight fit in my shower, but I wanted to spend one more night in my place, knowing Silas wasn’t going to let me do it alone.
