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When I wake up I have one of thosewhere the fuck am I and what time is itkind of moments. The heavy arm around my waist is an indication of just how far my New Year’s resolution flew out the window as it all comes rushing back to me. I never left Holden’s house.
We fucked. On the kitchen table. In his bed. In his shower. Then in his bed again.
My body is sore in all the right places, and I wish I could revel in the feeling a little longer, but I can’t. I need to go.
He looked at me like forever yesterday, but I’ve had guys do the same thing before only to clam up and be distant the next day. For a lot of guys, once the conquest is done then they’re done with you. I don’t think my heart can take the same thing happening with Holden.
My heart is already on the line and that’s a dangerous as hell place to be. For me. For anyone.
Who wants their heart to be shattered into a million pieces? Not me. No way. No how.
I’m not sure if Holden is still asleep, but I have to risk it anyway. As I start to pull away from him, his arm tightens and his rough morning voice makes me shiver, “Where are you going, Angel?”
“Um,” because eloquence is a sure thing first thing in the morning. “I’m just, you know,” I trail off not sure if I want to say out loud that I have every intention of leaving right here and now.
He narrows his eyes at me, “Were you trying to leave? Did you think you could sneak off with your tail between your legs?”
Before I get the chance to begin to think of a response, I’m rolled onto my back and Holden is on top of me. My legs come up and wrap around his hips, cradling him against my body as if it was made to do exactly that. Forever.
Maybe it is?
There is so much of me which wants to believe it, but it’s not easy to do. I look away from Holden’s intense dark gaze. If I look at him I’ll crumble.
His hand is warm when he cups my cheek, his voice gentle and coaxing, “Look at me, Angel.”
I can’t deny him even though there is part of me which wants to. I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I look at him. When our eyes meet, some of the tension in my shoulders leaves me.
“Yeah,” my voice comes out weak at first, but I clear my throat and try again, “I figured, you know, it would be better if I go quietly.”
Holden barks out a laugh. Not what I was expecting from him at all. The sound doesn’t feel mocking, but maybe my whole mojo is off, and I can’t tell anymore. I have been out of the dating game for months and things move fast in singledom. Not that fast as far as I remember, but anything is possible, I suppose.
I roll my eyes and feign annoyance that I don’t really feel as I huff, “Are you laughing at me?”
One moment he’s laughing and the next his jaw is set in determination. There’s a fierceness in his eyes that takes my breath away. Okay then. That was a fast change over.
His voice is fierce, “I would never laugh at you.” He shakes his head slowly, his words measured, “You’re just adorable.” When he kisses my lips gently, I find myself chasing him when he pulls back from me. I should be embarrassed by my actions, but I can’t bring myself to be. Something flashes in his eyes. “I don’t want you to go quietly. I don’t want you to go at all.”
I make a squeaking sound very unlike me before I ask, “You don’t?”
“No, Angel,” his voice is soothing, and I can almost feel him smoothing down my feathers. If I had any. Which I don’t, but damn if he doesn’t make me feel like I do. Wings. Angel wings. It’s something I’ve never felt before. “I don’t want you to go. Not ever.”
“You don’t even know me.” I swallow hard and force the next words out, “We just had a one-night stand.”
Holden’s eyes go hard, and his voice takes on an icy tone, “We know what we shared is much more than a one-night stand and I’m not going to allow you to talk about it like that.”
I bristle and scoff, “You won’t allow me?”
One of his hands dives into the hair at the back of my neck. I feel his fingers working into the strands, wrapping them around his fingers. He uses it as leverage to expose my neck to him where he nips and kisses.
“No,” he rasps, the feeling seeping into my skin, “I won’t. You might be scared, I get it, Coral, really, but I’m not going to allow either of us to get in our own way. Not when what I know we have, what we can continue to grow, is worth it.”
Damn it.
I reach up, cupping his face in my hands. “How dare you Holden,” I scold him.
The smirk which overtakes his face should not be sexy. It should not be a turn on. It should make me want to buck him off me. It so doesn’t.
It turns me the hell on and there is no explanation for it other than this is the man who is going to turn me inside out for the rest of my life.
