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I try to block him out so that I can think straight, but that seems to be impossible. I close my eyes for a few seconds to catch my thoughts, which are like a Gordian knot. But somewhere while living with him, I’ve come to accept that life is all about giving a chance and taking a risk. I have no idea what I’m going to do about it, but I’m no longer lying to myself. He has started to mean a lot to me. And my decision is made.
“Yes,” I blurt out, my voice ringing with emotions.
“Yes?” His eyes are hopeful and his voice is soft as he scans my face thoroughly.
“I am not sure what it is about you, but I can’t get you off my mind. You make me smile. You make me want more of you. I don’t want to fight this anymore and want to give our relationship a try and see where this goes.” I bite down my lower lip, my mind racing. Did I make the right decision? What if…?
His smile splits his face as he cups my cheeks tenderly. “Thanks, Wifey. I promise you won’t regret giving us a chance.” He leans and kisses my cheek, warming my heart. “Do you know that the first time I laid my eyes on you was the best moment ever? However, our first kiss topped it. And now you agreeing to give us a chance makes me feel that God must be happy with me. I am sure we will work out just fine.” I start to open my mouth to tell him that it’s going to take a lot of work on both our parts when he beats me to it. “I hate to say this but as much as I want to stand here and continue our conversation, I am dead on my feet.” he whispers. “Let’s hit the bed, shall we?”
I am about to ask where I am going to sleep but he puts a finger across my lips to silence me. “You take the bed. I will sleep on the couch.”
“Let’s sleep together.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can think. Frantically, I cover my mouth as my eyes go wide as saucers.
“I would love to sleep with you,” he beams.
God! Let the ground swallow me. My face flushes with embarrassment as I stammer. “I… I… mean the bed is huge enough for both of us. We both are adults and can manage.”
“Relax. I know what you meant. Do you need something to sleep in?” he asks with his killer smile.
I shake my head. “No, I am fine in this dress.”
He doesn’t say anything as he walks to his closet. He then pulls out a t-shirt and walks back to me.
“Wear this,” he says as he holds up the red t-shirt.
“Ranveer, this is really not required.”
“Please. I want you to be comfortable, and more importantly, I want to see you in my t-shirt.” He rests a hand on my shoulder and sighs, gazing down at me tenderly. “You can refuse, of course. I will understand if you are not comfortable.”
My mind is blank for a second as my gaze goes from the t-shirt he is holding out, to his face, which is mirroring so many emotions. I close my eyes for a moment, and before I can change my mind, I open them and smile. “I’ll go and change,” I take the t-shirt from him and saunter towards the bathroom.
I pull off my dress and slip on his t-shirt. The full-length bathroom mirror shows my reflection. The garment reaches up to my knee, and I must say, I look good in it. Taking a deep breath, I pull in some courage as I slowly open the bathroom door and step back into the room. He is still standing at the same spot I left him earlier but the only difference is he has changed into his track pants and t-shirt.
“It’s a little… baggy,” I say as I fidget with the hem of the t-shirt, walking a bit consciously towards him.
“It looks better on you than it ever did on me,” he smiles and his eyes sparkle as they skim over me. He then places a kiss on my forehead which is becoming my favourite. “You know a secret?” he whispers in my ear.
I shake my head.
He reaches for my hand and lets it rest on his chest, over his heart. “This will always be yours.”
My eyes light up at his admission. Not only are his words affecting me, but I can also feel the steady rhythm against the palm of my hand.
He runs his finger down my cheek, making the small hair rise to greet him. “Right now, I want nothing more than to fall asleep with you in my arms.” It’s not a question but a statement. The thought itself gives me goosebumps and I stand there, rooted to my spot.
He pulls back the covers and motions me to get in. My heart automatically follows his commands. He then climbs next to me as he pulls the comforter up over us. Once he has me where he wants me, he turns off the light. The room is dark with justthe moonlight that filters through the window, basking the room in a beautiful white light.I roll over, facing the window, my back to him.
“Can I hold you in my arms? I promise not to step out of my line.”
My heart jumps into my mouth and I give in to the temptation to feel him. “Okay.”
He places his arm around my waist and gently pulls me back against his chest. The warmth of his body is so endearing. Immediately, all the tension leaves my body. This feels right. It hits me that this is the first time I am sharing a bed with a man. Sure, I was dating Siddh, but we always slept in different rooms.
I relax in his arms and my breathing evens out. We lay in silence for so long I’m beginning to wonder if he’s fallen asleep, but the next moment, I hear his voice. “Even though we’ve been together for a short time, I can’t explain how much you mean to me.” I can feel his fingers caressing my waist as he murmurs, “You have no inkling how much I love and care for you.”
My stomach flutters at his words. Staring into the darkness, I confess, “I wasn’t looking to fall for you. In fact, I fought it for a long time, being scared of the unknown and the unexpected. I pushed you away to keep from being hurt,” I admit. He stills as he hears me say that. I let that sink in before I continue, “And then, something happened that I didn’t expect at all. You slipped into my heart and found a home there. You infused my life with happiness and joy that I never thought possible. I do value you with all my heart, but sometimes, I hate you too for the way you spoil me. You even make me angry at times with your overbearing personality. But I won’t trade it for anything because those gestures make you who you are.” I pause and take a deep breath, my chest rising and falling. He tries to pull me closer to him which makes my breath hitch for a second. “I feel loved, respected, and happy with you.” My voice is raw with emotions as I say that.
Without uttering a word, he tightens his hold on me, and kisses my cheek. This is what I’ve been missing. I understand that now. I still haven’t confessed that I love him. But I will… soon. This intense feeling of completeness I get just from being with him is too endearing not to embrace.
