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*sigh* I know. I won’t. I ate two scoops of ice cream & feel gross. That’s all the pity eating I can stomach.
Are you sure you’re OK?
Yeah. Bummed but fine. Better to figure it out now, right?
Right. Listen, your sister will be in Seattle at the end of the month. I’m sure she’d come sooner if you want her company.
“Greer? Oh, hell, no,” I muttered. My overbearing half-sister was the last thing I needed.
No, Mom, I’m good. There’s no need for that.
Are you sure?
100%
Well, if you’re sure. Call me tomorrow?
OK. Love you. Gnight.
Love you too, hon. Goodnight.
I tossed the phone on the couch. Add that to the list of shit to do tomorrow:
Fix Drew’s book
Call Mom
Text a dick about his crap
Frank and Lulu charged across the room, tails high and puffy. Frank stopped in the middle of the rug. Lu tackled him. They rolled around hissing and growling, then sat up on their haunches and played rock ’em sock ’em catbots before charging up the stairs.
I laughed. “Thanks, guys. I needed that.”
The book I’d thrown at Tristan lay on the floor by the balcony door. It was a travel guide to Mexico and the cover depicted a sexy, young smiling couple in bathing suits on a white sand beach.
“Fatkini.” How could one word fuck up everything and take my confidence from eight to zero in a heartbeat? “Mexico’s too sexy for your fat ass,” I mocked as I retrieved the book. I wandered into the kitchen and stared at the dishes piled in the sink. Sighing, I decided it was better to do something than nothing. Doing nothing meant letting myself think. And that just led down the drain. If there was one thing I’d perfected as a tall, chubby kid, it was pretending to be tough and happy while actually hating myself and believing I was a freak.
“You gonna let that dick ruin you?”
Silverware rattled in the drawer as I sorted knives, forks, and spoons into their slots.
“Cripes, You wear a size twenty, Zelda. That doesn’t mean anything.” I guess it was pep talk time. “It’s just a number. Like five-eleven. Does that mean you’re worthless?”
I didn’t have an answer. Maybe because I didn’t know a lot of women to compare myself to. There just weren’t that many women like me, so I always felt like an elephant in every crowd.
Lulu wandered into the kitchen and looked at me like I was nuts.
“Does being tall and curvy mean ugly and unloveable, Lu?”
She flicked her tail then twined around my legs. I picked her up. “You don’t care how fat my ass is, do you.” She purred and I scratched.
“Well, maybe my confidence is slightly more than zero. I did kick that prick to the curb.” Guess I’d learned something from narrating all those Juno Galore books.
Frank peered around the corner into the kitchen and meowed.
“You agree?” I put Lulu down. “Good.”
She and Frank charged up the stairs again and started a knock-down-drag-out in the hallway.
