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“Don’t think of her when you picture love,” Zel said.
“Definitely not.” Tobias fiddled with his spoon. “We didn’t love each other. I just figured we were old friends, so it would work. Never been so wrong about something in my life.”
“What made it go bad?” Drew asked. “I mean, things had to be okay at some point or you wouldn’t’ve married her.”
Aithan leaned forward. “Well, first of all,sheaskedhimto marryher.”
“What went wrong is I said, ‘Yes.’” Tobias shook his head. “I got remarried way the fuck too soon. I thought my little girl needed a mother. Now I know she needs the right mother.”
“It’s a totally understandable decision,” Zel said.
“Yeah, but Candy and my other sisters leaned on me hard to walk away from it. Maeve said they were comparing her to Juju. Which I believed ’cause they hated her back when we dated in high school. Turns out they werestillright. She hasn’t changed. She only wants partial custody of Amara so she can get alimony. Bitch never considered Mari her child.”
Drew felt for the guy. He’d tried to do right by his little girl and ended up failing miserably. “Dude, that’s rough.”
“Yeah,” Aithan said, “but the new attorneys are fixing everything.”
Tobias sighed. “Fuck, I hope so.”
25
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
It wasten o’clock when I carried the sheets, a light blanket, and a comforter downstairs. Tobias followed with the pillows. Opening the office closet, I retrieved a foam mattress pad and tossed it to him. While he pulled the cushions off the loveseat and unfolded the sleeper, I moved the cat box out of the bathroom to the entrance hall and quickly cleaned the shower floor.
He peered through the sound booth’s window. “You’re lucky you can work from home.”
“Yeah.” I stretched the fitted sheet across the mattress and pad. “I’ve gotten good mileage outta that box.”
He caught the other end of the sheet and secured it on his side of the sleeper. We added the top sheet, blanket, and comforter to the bed, and he dropped the pillows into place.
“The footrest beside my desk opens up and there’s another blanket inside, in case you get cold. And there are plenty of clean towels in the bathroom.”
I turned to leave, but Tobias caught my wrist. “Thanks, again, Zel.”
“It’s no trouble. You and Candace are always welcome here.”
He nodded, but he was looking down, rather than at me. “It’s just …. This is hard. None of you are parents, so you don’t really understand. The pressures are different and so much heavier. And I’m still a little drunk and rambling, and I really miss Juju, and you remind me of her. A lot.”
“Pretty sure rambling is okay. So is sadness and loneliness, Tobias.”
His head came up and he didn’t seem all that trashed. He still held my wrist, his grip gentle but firm, his gaze unwavering. He leaned closer and kissed my cheek. “Thanks, girl.” He tucked a stray lock of my hair behind my ear.
His gentle touch raised the hairs on my arms. “You’re welcome.”
Tobias had the lanky, muscular frame of a swimmer. He wasn’t massive like Aithan or solid like Drew, but he was fit and had this kind of loose grace when he moved. He kinda reminded me of Frank in that way, with far less attitude. The guy was gentle and sexy in the way dads can be when they know what needs to be protected and cherished, when they have their priorities straight. Tobias Peters was not adrift. He may have been caught in a storm, but he wasn’t rudderless or weak. And I found his single-minded focus on Amara’s well-being incredibly attractive.
But I was not gonna act on it. No. Fucking. Way. I wasn’t Maeve. I wasn’t selfish. I didn’t need Tobias any more than I needed Drew or Aithan. But, yeah, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t desire him, especially when he touched me.
I stepped back, thinking he’d let go.
But I was wrong.
Instead, he studied my face for a long moment before surprising me with another kiss, this time on my mouth. It was slow, lingering, mournful, and when he finally released my lips, I was a little breathless. Tobias pulled me into a hug. “But you’re not her,” he whispered.
“No, I’m not,” I whispered back. Damn, his arms felt way too good wrapped around me. I stomped my libido into submission and kicked it into the corner to sulk. “If you were sober and free of Maeve’s crap, I would show you it’s okay to want me, even if I’m not Juliette. But I won’t let you do something you might regret tomorrow morning.”
He nodded, his cheek pressing against my hair.
