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“I-I really need to pee.” I pull away, breaking the connection between us.
Dejection glitters in Theo’s eyes but he gives me a small nod, stepping back to give me some privacy. “I’ll be right outside.”
“Thanks.”
He leaves, taking the air with him.
Theo is here, and it’s all I wanted.
But everything is different now.
I’m different.
And I’m not sure I’ll ever find my way back to the girl I was before.
I thought going to see Vaughn would give me some closure. To know he couldn’t hurt me anymore. But it only filled me with an overwhelming degree of hurt and anger. He ruined everything.
He ruined me.
And I don’t know how to make peace with that.
I manage to go to the toilet and wash my hands. The second I open the door, Theo scoops me back up in his arms and carries me back to bed, laying me down like I’m something fragile and precious.
“Where’s Millie?” I ask, trying to keep the conversation away from us.
“Downstairs on the couch. She refused to leave but I didn’t want…” He trails off, climbing in the bed beside me.
“She could have stayed in with us.”
“I thought you might want some space.” He searches my eyes for answers I can’t give him. “How’s your pain? I didn’t want to wake you earlier for your painkillers so you can have them now.”
“I think I’ll be okay.”
“You sure? You don’t have to try and put on a brave face, not with me.”
“Honestly, I’m fine.”
“I know things are fucked up but don’t shut me out, Raine. Please.”
“I… I just don’t understand how you can still want me.”
“I told you, it doesn’t matter. I love you, sunshine.” He cups my face. “I can’t pretend to know what’s going through your head right now but I’m not going anywhere, okay. It’s you and me, babe.”
He makes it sound so easy. And part of me wants to believe him, to let go of the past and embrace the future he’s offering.
But something inside me won’t let me.
“Just tell me what you need.” The desperation in his voice makes my breath catch.
“I… I’m tired. Can we talk about this later? When it isn’t the middle of the night?”
“Yeah.” He gives me a reassuring smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sleep, sunshine. I’ve got you.” Theo wraps his arm around my waist, dragging me closer, and I let him.
Because while things might not be straightforward between us, he’s still here.
I still love him.
And for now, it’s enough.
