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She lets me shower her again, but other than more kisses to her fading bruises, that’s all she allows me to do.
I get it. I do. But I… I wish she’d start opening up.
There are so many things we need to talk about and until we do, I don’t think we’re going to be able to move forward.
I know she’s scared. Ashamed, even. But I need to show her that she doesn’t need to feel that way.
Not with me.
“How’s she doing?” Abi asks, jumping up from the table where she was sitting with Liv drinking coffee.
“Same,” I say, letting out a resigned sigh.
Dropping into the chair next to Liv, she reaches up and squeezes my shoulder in support.“She’ll get there.”
“I know,” I murmur. “I just wish she’d talk. Tell me about everything she’s been through. Exorcise it, I guess.”
“She will,” Abi says with a confidence I don’t feel. “She just needs time. Raine has never had anyone in her life she’s been able to trust before. She thinks you’re going to run because shit has got hard.”
“But I’m not. I’m right here. Right fucking here,” I say, my frustration forcing me to slam my curled fist against the table.
“We know. And deep down, so does she. It’s just alien to her. She’s trying to protect herself and—”
“I feel like a prick for even talking about this after everything she’s been through.” An exasperated breath rolls through me. “It’s just driving me crazy.”
“We get it, Theo,” Abi says softly, placing a coffee in front of me. “Her past is complex. She needs time to sort through it.”
“And having that prick still breathing—albeit barely—can’t be helping things. Why won’t he just die and put her out of her misery? Fuck,” I bark, slumping back in the chair.
“Surely Dad knows someone who can—”
“You are not seriously suggesting what I think you are, are you?” Abi asks Liv, sounding horrified.
“Sure. Why not?” She lifts her shoulder in a shrug. “It’s not like he deserves to breathe the same air as any of us after everything he’s done.”
“I’d do it if I could,” I confess. “It was all I could think about when she visited him. Pulling one of those cables and watching the prick die right in front of us.”
“Jesus, Theo,” Abi breathes.
“Sorry. I just… I fucking love her and I want her to understand what that really means. I don’t know what to do. It’s killing me.”
“Has she said anything to Millie?” Liv asks.
I shake my head. “Not that she’s said. She’s just… it’s like she’s shut down and nothing I do will wake her up.”
“It’s only been a few days, it’s still early days.”
“I know I’m a selfish, impatient prick.”
“You’re not,” Liv assures me, reaching for my hand. “You’re worried. We all are. It’s normal. You think she might want to come down for a little bit today?” she asks.
The girls have been asking Raine to come and join everyone for a couple of days now, but she keeps refusing.
I shrug. “I’ll ask again.”
“Let me,” Abi says, pushing to stand, her face set with determination.
The temptation to stop her bubbles right under the surface, but I hold it back. As much as it’ll pain me to watch someone else succeed where I’ve failed the past few days, maybe it’s what she needs.
