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“Because of your dad?”
“Among other things.” He glances away. “I’ll need time to figure some stuff out.”
“What do you mean?”
Elliot looks at me again and his broken expression sends dread streaking through me. “I want to be with you, Abi. I want you to be mine. But he won’t accept it. He won’t accept?—”
“Me.” My heart sinks.
I always knew I wasn’t the kind of girl good enough to stand at Elliot’s side but to hear him admit it… Well, it reinforces every negative thought I’ve ever had about myself.
“I wish it were different. But that’s the kind of man my father is. And I refuse to let you become a pawn in his fucked-up games.”
“So what are you saying?” I stare at him, confused how I can feel so happy whilst feeling such a sense of dread at the same time.
“We can be together… but we have to keep it a secret.”
“I see.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask and it isn’t forever… It’s just until I figure things out.”
A secret.
He wants me to be his dirty little secret.
“You’ll have to keep dating Lauren?”
“No, fuck no.” Elliot clutches the back of my neck and draws me to him. “I want you. Only you.” His lips ghost over mine. “I just need some time. Can you give me that?”
“I…”
I shouldn’t agree.
If I was a smart girl, if I knew to think with my head and not my heart like my father tried to teach me, I would say no.
But it’s Elliot.
I can’t deny him.
Not now—not after everything.
So I nod.
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back, silently hoping that I’m not making a big mistake handing my heart and my trust to a boy who holds the power to completely ruin me.
32
ELLIOT
“What is this place? Abigail asks as I pull into the busy car park.
It’s just a field. A field that’s been churned up with endless traffic over the past few days. It’s muddy as fuck, and I can only imagine the state of my car after this.
But one glance over at her with her wide, excited eyes locked on what lies before us, I know it’s worth it.
“It’s a funfair, Red,” I tease.
I swear, she bounces in her seat.
