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4
ELLIOT
Isit in class with my eyes locked on the empty chair in the row in front of me.
Concern for the girl who should be sitting there courses through my veins as the teacher drones on about something I really should be listening to given that exams are right around the corner.
Nothing distracts me from studying, from thoughts of my future and my determination to succeed. But it seems that Abigail Bancroft might just be the exception to the rule.
Ever since she started hanging out with us, I’ve found my focus drifting to her in every class we share. Thankfully, it’s only a couple. I’m not sure I could cope if it were more. And this is the only one where she’s close enough to interact with, should I choose to.
But with her not here, I’m even more distracted than usual.
The girl’s request for me to go and check on her nags at me. Guilt that I haven’t done it already knots up my stomach. But not going is the right thing to do.
She won’t want to see me, let alone hear anything I have to say.
I might have been the one to pick her up after she got that phone call that night about her dad, but I can’t forget the reason she was running in the first place.
She was running from me.
Running from my reaction to her when she reached up on her toes and kissed me.
Without realising, my fingers lift until the tips are pressing against my lips as I remember just how soft hers were against mine.
So soft.
And so fucking tempting.
The need to return it, to take everything I’d been craving in the weeks that had passed burned through me.But I knew it was the wrong thing to do.
Kissing her would have been selfish. And I couldn’t do it to her.
You did the right thing,my voice of reason confirms for the millionth time since that night.
But no matter how often I hear it, it doesn’t stop me from regretting it.
The lesson passes agonisingly slowly with her unignorable absence. Thankfully, the rest of the day is full of classes we don’t share so I’m able to push thoughts of her aside—even if slightly—so I can focus.
Easter Break is right around the corner, and while it might be our last chance to chill out before exam season starts, it’s also the last chance we all have to make sure we’re on top of everything.
The guys keep talking about going away, jumping on a plane, and spending the time at the beach. But as welcome as the prospect of sun is, I’m just not sure I can do it.
I need to be studying. I need to be focusing, not frolicking around in the sea with three lovesick couples.
I mean really, what were they even thinking of inviting me in the first place?
Third wheel much?
Jesus.
I slump lower in my chair and continue working on the exam question we’ve been set. But my mind is never fully on it.
I haven’t seen her since the funeral.
It’s been over a week now.
It’s my own fault, though.
