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“I am, it’s just…”
“It’s still early days. The grief is raw. I’m sorry I burdened you with this.”
“No, no. I should be here.” A fresh wave of emotion crashes over me and sobs wrack through me.
“Why don’t we go downstairs, and I’ll make a fresh pot of tea. Then I’ll finish what I can up here, and we can talk about how you want to proceed with the rest of it.”
“Okay.”
I let her lead me out of my father’s bedroom and downstairs. Maureen pulls out a chair for me and gently shoves me into it. “Oh, Abigail. I should have realised…”
“I’m fine,” I mumble, unable to stop the tears.
“Sweetheart, you are not fine, and that’s okay. It will take time. Is there somebody at school you can take to? A counsellor? Or teacher?”
I nod, the numbness spreading over me, saturating every inch of me until I’m trembling.
“Tea, we need tea.” Maureen flusters as she sets about making a fresh pot of tea. She knows her way around the kitchen, this house, almost as well as I do.
“Your father was a good man, Abi. One of the best. I’m going to miss him tremendously. But I want you to know, just because I won’t be here anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t call or text me, okay? I will always make time for you. I promised him that.”
“Thank you.”
Exhaustion creeps into my bones as she slides a mug of tea in front of me.
“Do you want me to call someone? I’m not sure I like the idea of you going back to campus in this state.”
“I’m fine.” I inhale a sharp breath, trying to shake off the clutches of hopelessness. “I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure, sweetheart?”
“I promise.”
I can do this.
I have to do this.
I have to find a way to endure.
Because I’m alone now. I’m all alone and I only have myself to rely on.
I can do this.
Maybe if I repeat the words enough, they’ll eventually come true.
6
ELLIOT
“She hasn’t left, not even once?” I ask, horrified.
“Nope. Not that any of us have seen,” Kara, one of the more trustworthy girls who lives in Abi’s dorm tells me, wearing a concerned frown.
When Abi didn’t answer her door to me a few days ago and then still didn’t return to school or agree to go on the holiday the boys planned last minute, I figured I needed to do something.
She didn’t want to see me. Fine. I could deal with that.But I wasn’t leaving her here alone without some kind of monitoring.
I had to pick my spy carefully. I couldn’t ask any of the Heir chasers. They’d agree to anything if they thought they had a chance with me.
