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“I’m sorry, okay.” Panic floods my chest. “I… I don’t know what came over me. You were asleep and I, I needed?—”
The broken, desperate look he gives me makes something inside me wither and die.
I thought being rejected by Elliot after I kissed him was the worst thing that could happen between us. But the look he’s wearing now comes a very close second.
“Elliot, I?—”
“Just go to sleep, Abi.
“You think I can go to sleep after… after that?” Weak laughter bubbles up my throat.
“You should have woken me.”
“So you could do what exactly? I told you already, this is my problem, not yours.”
“You think I’d just sit by and let you hurt yourself again?”
I drop my gaze and shrug. His hot and cold routine is exhausting.
“Abi, look at me.” He moves around the bed until I see his bare feet. “Red.”
“You said you wouldn’t call me that anymore.”
He reaches for me and toys with a strand of my hair. “It suits you.”
“What are you doing, Elliot?” I lift my eyes to his, ignoring the flutter of butterflies in my stomach. My vulnerability makes me susceptible to his words, his confusing actions.
The answer I want doesn’t come though. He snatches his hand away and suppresses a sigh. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”
We won’t. Because I never want to talk about it.
Elliot moves to the chair and sits.
“What are you doing?”
“Sleep, Abi.” He drags a hand down his face, and I hate that I’m the cause of his irritation.
But I didn’t ask him to barge into the bathroom and act like my white knight again.
I didn’t ask him for anything.
“Fine.” Crawling under his covers, I roll onto my side and watch him across the room.
It’s weird how quickly I’ve gotten used to him being here. Or me being here, I guess.
But everyone gets back tomorrow and the little bubble we’ve created will burst.
I know what I have to do.
When tomorrow rolls around, I have to leave.
I can’t stay here and pretend that we’re something to each other when he made it perfectly clear we’re not.
It isn’t healthy for either of us.
“You need to get help, Abi,” he whispers, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
He’s right.
