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She gets it.
But I can’t burden her with the knowledge of my weaknesses.I can’t weigh her down more than she already is.
Nothing good can come from the two of us exploring anything together.
It would be toxic, and unhealthy, an obsession I allowed myself to indulge in.It would never end well because, despite our connection, we can’t have a future.
She’s not a Lauren Winrow of the world.
She’s not the kind of girl my father wants me to spend my life with.
Yes, she might be Judge Bancroft’s daughter, but that isn’t enough for him.
It’s better this way.
It’s better that she’s in a dorm room with another guy right now and I’m being forced to date girls I have zero interest in.
The rest of the day passes as a blur of nothingness.I might be present in class, but it’s only in body. My head is firmly elsewhere as I hide my fucked-up fist under the table.
With no rugby training tonight, and no energy to call the team in despite Coach’s absence for them to run drills and generally be the evil and twisted kind of cunt they expect me to be, I sulk off home to lick my wounds and torture myself more with what could be happening in the boy’s dorms.
I make a beeline to the kitchen for supplies before locking myself in my room before the others appear.The last thing I need is the fucking Spanish Inquisition about my hand.
No sooner have I cleaned and wrapped it in the hope I can forget about the relief the pain gave me, do I pull my laptop from my bag and flip it open.
It takes me less than two minutes to hack into the school’s CCTV system. It’s something I’ve done so many times in the past few years, I could probably do it in my sleep at this point.
I go back to the time when I saw Abigail walk into the building and fast forward the footage of the front door, waiting to see her leave.
But she doesn’t.
Hours of footage pass and she’s still fucking in there.
My stomach knots painfully and my heart races as realisation settles within me.
She’s done.
I fucked it up.
I let her think I was ashamed of spending time with her, and she stuck to her words and latched onto Ethan instead.
An unfamiliar pain shoots through my chest and I lift my hand to cover it as the footage catches up with real-time and slows down.
She’s spent all afternoon in his room…
I want to look away. I don’t want to see what time she eventually leaves and disappears back to her own room. But I can’t.
All I can do is stare at the screen and wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Eventually, long after it’s dark, I finally get what I’ve been waiting for.
A grainy yet familiar figure comes into view, and I finally get to watch as he leads her out of the building and walks her home.
She doesn’t invite him inside the girl’s dorms, instead, they loiter awkwardly outside before she gives him a quick hug and darts into the building.
