Page 136 of Lawless


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Every time I close my eyes, all I see is them. They suck me back into their sick and twisted games and don’t stop until I can no longer recognize the woman they’ve turned me into.

Being in the bath with Reid helped push them aside. So did cuddling with JD. But sitting at that table, doing something as normal as eating breakfast while the two of them bantered was just too much.

I came too close to losing everything…

Birds tweet up in the trees, and the browning leaves rustle as they prepare to fall.

Pulling my legs up, I wrap my arms around them and rest my chin on my knees.

It’s so peaceful here. It’s probably exactly what I need. Or it would be if I could push past the nightmares and the fear.

I’ve no idea how much time passes as I sit here staring out at nothing. But eventually, the sound of a door opening behind me hits my ears and I prepare for company.

It’s not that I don’t want it. I do.

More than anything, I want to lose myself in their touch, but I’m scared.

Neither of them has shown any signs that they’re disgusted by me now that I’ve been tainted again by those monsters, but I’m struggling to believe they truly feel that way.

Even now, hours after I’ve been rescued, I feel their touch burning into my skin.

Acid swirls in my stomach, burning up my throat as I think about what they did, what they might have done while I was unconscious.

“Dove?” a soft, welcome voice whispers.

When I look up, I gasp, finding that he’s already standing right in front of me.

Lowering his ass to the coffee table, he threads his fingers together as if he needs to do so to stop him from reaching out to touch me.

I hate it. I hate that he’s questioning everything.

Why can’t he just sweep me off my feet, strip me naked, lay me out, and prove with actions that everything really is okay?

Shaking that fantasy from my head, I remember why he won’t do that.

My skin burns again, my need to rip it clean from my body all-consuming.

Maybe they should have just killed me.

“Tell me how to fix this,” JD begs, his eyes boring into mine.

A sob rips from my throat without permission.

Years ago, I hardly ever cried. No matter how bad it was, I always held it in. If Kristie saw I’d been crying, she’d have questions. Questions I wasn’t willing to answer.

I could hide the cuts and bruises they caused, but I didn’t stand a chance in hell of hiding the red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes that I knew would come from releasing all my hurt, anger, and frustration through tears.

Back then, I didn’t have anyone to hold me, to ask me how to make things better. Anyone who knew I was broken didn’t care about putting me back together. They just wanted to rip more strips off me until there was nothing left.

But now…

Another sob erupts, and this time, JD can’t just sit and watch.

Dropping beside me, he lifts me onto his lap, giving me little choice but to straddle him. He holds me close, tucking my face into the crook of his neck.

Now I have people who care.

Men who want to make things better.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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