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I’d have thought standing there watching her be taken by someone else—by my best friend—would break him.
But clearly, I’d have lost a lot of money because he was more than getting off on it.
I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised. He had a rep for getting up to all kinds of filthy things back in the day. But it’s easy to forget that side of him when it hasn’t been seen for so long.
Hell, sometimes we went weeks, if not even longer, between seeing him at the clubhouse.
To begin with, we had no idea it was because he secretly had Alana living with him. It soon became obvious why he was so absent when their surprising union was announced. Then we all thought he was too busy at home fucking her. Until the truth of that came out.
Do I feel like a pussy for bailing? Yeah, I guess. I find it hard to care, though.
I might have agreed to embark on this, but it’ll still take a long time for me to get fully onboard and open up. For them to really understand what goes through my head and what makes me tick.
I shared Alana with JD without an issue the other morning. I’ve watched her with both of them from the shadows many, many times. But doing so while standing shoulder to shoulder with her husband was different. And I’m not even sure if I can explain why.
He was into it. Alana and JD were certainly into it.
Hell, so was I. I’d be lying through my teeth if I tried to convince anyone that I wasn’t hard as fuck watching her get railed by my best friend.
But still… I couldn’t stay there.
Maybe it’s the pressure of what’s happening on the outside. The reality check that came from talking to Aubrey and Malakai.
Fuck knows, but I was out of there the second she closed her eyes.
I might have left, but there was no way I was allowing her to watch me do it.
And it also didn’t stop me from going straight to the window in the bedroom to continue watching.
Alone and shrouded in darkness.
A place where I’m most at home.
Ripping open my fly, I push my hand into my pants just as JD shoves Alana forward, allowing her access to Mav, who has finally joined them.
“Fuck.” I hiss, squeezing the base of my dick.
Pressing my free hand against the window, I peer down at them, happier than I was before being an invisible voyeur.
JD never moves away from behind her. Something tells me he’s waiting for round two, and to be honest, from the way she’s deep-throating Mav, it won’t be long until he’s recovered and ready to go again.
And just to prove me right, not two minutes later, he starts thrusting into her.
I stand there unmoving as they all work together to find their almost simultaneous releases.
All the while, I do nothing but hold my aching dick like a loser.
But I don’t want to stand here and jerk off over the little alfresco porno they’re making.
I want more than that.
I want her.
My fist clenches against the window as I fight with my own desire. The second they’re done, I step away, falling even deeper into the shadows.
With my head tipped toward the ceiling, I suck in a deep breath and try to rein myself in.
The temptation to run back downstairs and take what I so desperately need is strong. But I’m better than that. I’m stronger than that.
