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Staring at her sleeping form made my chest ache. I loved this woman so fuckin’ much, I counted every day as a blessing she was still with me.
There was a time when I’d almost lost her. Still, over twenty years later, I blamed myself for what happened to Edana.
The only reason several members of the Savage Reapers, our club’s old enemy, were able to get their hands on her was because she’d come looking for me at Indulge, one of our club’s strip joints. We’d been fighting, like we often did back then, and she wasn’t done giving me a piece of her mind.
If I’d only ended the argument earlier.
If I’d been a better boyfriend.
If I’d taken the threat against our club more seriously.
If I’d…
I could go on forever, but the fact of the matter was, I didn’t save her from them, and I had to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.
The day her world changed forever was the same day a darkness invaded my soul. I sometimes missed the man I used to be when I was younger. Not the womanizer. Not the guy who took his woman for granted. I was happy those parts of me had been destroyed. But the part of me that ignorantly thought that nothing could harden me toward life.
Toward the world around me.
I never used to be hell-bent on vengeance, so consumed with it I couldn’t see straight at times. Sure, I traveled the road of justice with my brothers, but I didn’t crave revenge so deeply I needed it to breathe some days… until that day.
A soft moan escaped her lips as she stretched, arching her back and pressing her ass against me. If ever there was a time when I needed to lose myself in her, to bury the memories and regrets that often crept in, it was now.
“Good morning,” I whispered, kissing her shoulder, and tugging her closer, the curvature of her body melding into mine like a puzzle piece.
I walked my fingers over her belly and toward her hipbone, the scar that marred her beautiful skin not as noticeable as it once was. But I knew exactly where it was located and how long it was, tip to tip, even without looking. In her hazy awareness, she sucked in a breath when I brushed the mark, but she didn’t say anything, instead relaxing into my touch seconds later.
There was a time when Edana wouldn’t let me see her naked, let alone touch her, but we’d thankfully moved past that dark time in our lives. Now, there were only tidbits of reservations from time to time, and even those had lessened with each passing year.
Without thought, I traced the inside of her left wrist next—the scar she’d given herself weeks after she’d been brutally attacked barely detectable with touch now. Before I lost myself to memories that would sour my mood, she spoke, her voice like a balm to the images starting to fester inside me.
“I’m gonna be late. And you know how Margo is when I’m not on time.” The tiredness in her voice remained, giving me hope she’d stay in bed a little while longer.
“Fuck your sister.”
“Be nice,” she chastised, the absence of irritation in her tone telling me she didn’t take offense. But why would she? She knew how I felt about her older sister. The woman was a pain in my ass, forever throwing her opinions around, especially when no one ever asked her for them. But she’d been there for Edana when she needed her the most. Margo had been my woman’s lifeline when she ran from me all those years ago, and she’d been the one to push her back toward me, helping to guide her out of the darkness when no one else could. Where I failed, over and over, she succeeded. For that, I’d always be indebted to her. But I’d never admit such a thing out loud for fear she’d forever hold it over my head.
“I’m always nice.”
“I can name ten people who’d disagree.”
“Is that right?” I asked, turning her onto her back. Before she could protest, I was on top of her, the weight of my body imprisoning her to the bed. “So, I’m not being nice when I do this?” I covered her mouth with mine, teasing her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue before applying the slightest pressure with my teeth. “Or this?” Shifting to the side, I ran my fingers through her pussy before slipping them inside her.
Slow. Gentle. Deep.
Her soft cry gave me the answer I sought. “Or how about this?” I removed my fingers before driving into her with one harsh and worshipping thrust.
If anyone asked me what heaven was like, I’d tell them it was inside her, and I’d mean every fucking word. And while I thanked fate for bringing her back to me when our lives had fallen apart, my gratitude was sometimes tainted with guilt for how I’d treated her early on. I believed I’d made up for my selfishness and stupidity by remaining loyal to her since that devastating night, but I continued to show her how much she meant to me. I’d be nothing without the woman beneath me.
“Faster.” Her plea traveled on a harsh whisper.
I kept the same teasing pace. “Because you want it hard, or because you’re in a hurry to meet your sister?” Depending on her answer, I’d either give her what she wanted, or tease her mercilessly. “Well?” The lazy push and pull of my hips had her scouring her nails down my back.
Positioning my hand in the bend of her knee, I moved her leg toward her chest, pressing in deeper. My eyes connected with hers. The lazy tilt of a smile ghosted over her mouth, and it took every bit of restraint I had not to fuck her like a beast. Because believe me, I wanted to, and I knew she wanted me to as well, but since she refused to answer my question, I took my time.
As the silence stretched between us, I focused on the way she rotated her hips, falling into rhythm with mine, sparking the familiar sensation I loved to chase.
