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Viv stopped searching through a row of strollers and looked at her. “I will never understand your mother. But, don’t you have other family, like grandparents? Or aunts or uncles?”
Her mother was an only child, but her dad had a brother who was serving a long sentence for assaulting a police officer. She wasn’t sure, but she thought he was still at Joseph Harp Correctional Center in Lexington. Her grandparents on her mother’s side had died in a car crash when Rae was young, but her grandmother on her dad’s side was alive. She lived at the top edge of Washington, where her dad said the coastal forests grew so thick no light touched the ground, and the only time Rae had ever really spoken with her was at her dad’s funeral. Her grandmother was so distraught, having lost one son to the prison system and then another to an overdose, that Rae never dreamed of reaching out to her. She was in her early seventies when Rae’s dad died, and at the time Clint had seemed like a better option. At least an option she was familiar with.
“No, I don’t have anyone, but don’t worry. I’ve got a lot saved for my own place.” Not a total lie, but she had no idea how much she’d need to get her own apartment. She needed her own place because she and Viv had already fudged their household income so Rae could get on Medicaid. “I promise I’ll start looking for an apartment as soon as I have enough.”
Viv came over to her, pulling her into a side embrace to avoid Rae’s baby bump. “I didn’t bring it up as a way to push you out the door. Listen.” She gave Rae a little squeeze. “You and Lily can stay with me for as long as you want. We can make it work. I use headphones for my sessions anyway, so a little background noise won’t disrupt much. And when she’s six or eight weeks old, she can start day care.”
Rae hadn’t even thought about day care, but the idea of leaving Lily with strangers terrified her. There was too much she needed to prepare for, and panic crept up her spine, making her nauseous. Her mouth watered uncontrollably, and she swallowed and swallowed, but she knew she couldn’t stop it. She leaned over and threw up all over a white bassinet.
A young worker nearby gasped at the mess Rae made, and Viv called out, “We’ll take this one. Thanks!”
Rae let out a weak laugh, which quickly turned into sobs. She wasn’t a child anymore. No matter how much she felt like one sometimes when she played with her dolls during her live streams, she would never be a child again. And for the first time in a long time, she missed her mother.
CHAPTER 26
RAE
2024
Rae wrapped up with her last client for the day, her body aching from how much she’d tossed and turned in bed the night before. Her Monday wasn’t as busy as she’d expected because two more clients either dropped her services or were so deathly ill, they couldn’t find the strength to call and cancel. That damn article. It could’ve done way more damage, so she tried not to let it bother her too much. At least the clients she’d had the longest were loyal.
She changed into jeans and a breezy tunic top and redid her hair into a messy bun before going to the front.
Angel’s face was screwed up in concentration as she stared at her computer screen. Rae saw she had their ledgers up. She knew what the numbers looked like, but she hadn’t had time to digest what it could mean. Angel tore her eyes away from the screen and gave Rae a once-over. “You look nice.”
“Nicer than those numbers?”
Angel scowled. “Morton dropped out.”
“Seriously?” Charles Morton, a hedge fund manager, had been one of her oldest clients. “Fuck. Did he say why?”
“New wife, new rules.”
“Bullshit. His first and second wives never knew where he spent his play money, so why would he tell the third?”
“Because the article strikes again.”
Rae wanted to sit on the floor and cry. Not because of losing Morton, although it did hurt her feelings he didn’t tell her in person. Coward. It was everything, and the stress kept piling on until she wanted to shut down. Lily was still avoiding her at every turn, and seeing how much pressure Angel was under with their shrinking budget was all too much. It didn’t matter if clients paid in advance if they didn’t schedule future sessions with her. She couldn’t take much more, and she had always thought she could take on anything. She was a survivor, but sometimes she wondered at what point a person stops surviving and starts imploding.
Angel sighed. “Rae-Rae, if we keep hemorrhaging clients like this, our rainy-day fund is going to be gone in less than a month.”
“I know.” Rae pinched the bridge of her nose in a failed attempt to stave off a headache. “I’m going to see about booking more private events for the weekends. Something until I can get new clients on board.”
Angel nodded. “So, is Mr. Hot Detective still coming here to chat?”
Rae had called him that morning and simply stated, “The thing you asked about is this Wednesday night.” She knew he’d know what she meant, and she didn’t want the information about the party to be connected to her. He then asked to speak with her in person, not at the station. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the article and the fact that every officer there probably knew about her and her business now, and he wanted to avoid restirring the pot.
“Yeah, he should be here soon. You sure you don’t want to stick around for it?”
“Can’t,” Angel said. “I have my dental appointment at three, and I still need to run by the vet to get Regé’s meds.”
“Okay. I’ll call you later and let you know how it goes.” She looked at her friend—her family—and it killed her to see her so worried. She went behind the front desk and hugged Angel hard from behind. “We’re going to be okay. All right?”
Angel didn’t say anything, but Rae felt the motion of her nodding.
Fifteen minutes later, Rae heard the intercom buzz when Dayton arrived. She placed a bookmark in the book she was reading and let him in. She saw he was dressed almost as casually as she was with a plaid button-down and jeans.
“Any good?” Dayton said when he saw her holding the book.
