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“It takes a lot of trust on both sides.”
He took her hand. “I hope you know you can trust me.”
She wanted to so much. “Maybe we could start by going on a real date sometime when things are less ... unpredictable.”
He pulled her close. “I kind of don’t mind being unpredictable with you.”
Then he kissed her, one of his hands holding her face, his other hand tracing the outline of her breast with his thumb. It was a strange juxtaposition of wanting him to take her right there in the parking lot while feeling the weight of what he’d proposed to her about the footage. She didn’t want to think about what her answer would be. She only wanted to enjoy the feel of his hands on her and was as reluctant to pull away as he was.
CHAPTER 47
RAE
2009
Tricia and Anthony De Luca were not exactly what Rae envisioned for Viv’s parents. They were far worse. As soon as they stepped into Viv’s condo, they were making plans like Rae didn’t exist.
If their plans had involved the funeral, Rae wouldn’t have felt so disgusted by their intrusive behavior, but they didn’t seem to care about organizing anything except for putting the condo up for sale and taking the money back to where they now lived in Chicago. Cynthia, Viv’s aunt who seemed the total opposite of Tricia, was the only person helping Rae with decisions: the funeral home, the type of flowers—yellow gerbera daisies, Viv’s favorite—the music choices, which were as eclectic as her friend had been. It was too much, and Rae was thankful for Cynthia.
No one said anything about the watch Rae wore, Viv’s watch. She had wanted to place it on Viv’s wrist, but Viv’s parents had already had her body cremated. “No reason to spend a bunch of money for a wooden box in the ground,” Viv’s father had said. So, Rae decided shewould keep the watch, to honor her friend and feel her close, the way Viv had kept it to feel close to Frederick. And once Cynthia told her Viv had legally changed her last name to Dixon after Willie Dixon, the famous blues musician Viv loved, Rae knew someday she’d legally take the last name as well. She soaked up as many stories as she could from Cynthia, stories that showed Viv in her kindness and effortless glamour.
“She told me about you, you know,” Cynthia said to Rae as they prepped a traditional Italian meal together for the family and friends who were coming for the funeral the next day. “You were very important to her. I think she saw herself as a big sister to you.”
Rae stopped pressing the edges of ravioli Cynthia was teaching her how to make, quashing tears from coming again. “It doesn’t seem real that she’s gone.”
Cynthia sucked in a deep breath like she was holding in tears, too, and side-hugged Rae. “She was one of a kind, my Vee.”
That night, Rae had trouble falling asleep with Viv’s parents in the house with her. Hearing their loud movements in the home kept startling her awake as soon as she’d drifted off. She wished Cynthia were at the condo, too, but she was staying at a nearby hotel.
The next day was a blur Rae remembered in bits and pieces. More family and friends showed up at the funeral home and paid their respects. There was crying, then laughter, as people gave eulogies, stories Rae wanted to hear and burn into her memory, these other sides of Viv she didn’t know, but she couldn’t seem to grasp on to any words for long before her mind went numb.
After the funeral, people filled the reception room, where Cynthia and Rae served the food they had prepared, the food Viv’s parents had watched them make the day before without offering to help. Rae felt like a machine, ladling food onto paper plates, Lily’s movements in her the only thing making her feel real.
She was dead tired by the time they got back to the condo. Cynthia helped her clean the serving spoons they had used, and Rae was gladthey’d had the foresight to use foil serving trays they could toss. Tricia and Anthony drank the leftover wine they had served at the funeral, giving Rae a taste of their alcoholism Viv had once mentioned to her. They were sloppy drunks, loud and obnoxious, and she couldn’t handle it after the long day.
“Could y’all please keep it down?” she said to them.
Tricia stopped her chatter and sneered at Rae. “Y’all.You’re from one of those hick states, huh?Southern.” She overexaggerated the word, drew it out as if Rae spoke like a caricature.
“I’ll finish up,” Cynthia said to Rae in a lowered voice. “You go rest, and I’ll take care of them.”
“This isn’t your place, girlie,” Tricia slurred from the couch. “Your free ride is over. You’ve got one week to get you and your shit out of here.”
Cynthia touched Rae’s shoulder, which was trembling with a rage she had nowhere to put. “It’s okay. It’s just the wine talking. Go take a shower and try to get some sleep.”
Rae shot a hateful glance at Tricia and Anthony and went to her room. She was too tired to shower, and her mind was heavy with Tricia’s words. She knew Viv’s parents meant it; Rae had a week to find a new place to live, and here she was seven months pregnant. Without enough for a rental deposit, she didn’t know what she was going to do.
Lily kicked her hard in the ribs, and Rae thought about Beth, how she had kicked and kicked when Clint’s friend lifted her up from behind, before Clint came running with the syringe. Beth had fought so hard, and Rae needed to find the fight in herself again too. She needed to be the person who had helped Katelyn, the strong person who set a fire and left her abusers to die.
Katelyn.
Rae took out her cell phone and pulled up her emails. She scrolled until she found the one from Katelyn’s parents, Marilyn and Ben Reid.She reread their message over and over:If you ever need anything, please never hesitate to reach out.
She stared at the phone number they had given to her. An Oklahoma number.
They had been on vacation in California when Katelyn was taken from them. That’s what the news articles had stated. Katelyn was there one moment, gone the next from the crowded Santa Monica Pier.
Rae had looked them up before. They lived in Yukon, a suburb not far from Oklahoma City, far from where Rae’s mother now lived in Tulsa.
