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“How did that make you feel? So trapped and isolated from the world.”
“As a prisoner,” she took a deep breath, and then her hand found her neck where her necklace used to lay before she smashed the charm. Her face turned to sadness, and I leaned forward and placed my hand over hers.
“I promise I will replace the charm and have it made exactly like before.”
“Thank you for offering, but you don’t have to. I don’t want any reminders of the past. I will never forget how she sacrificed her life so I could live. What bothers me now is how I didn’t know I was always wearing the answer. To hide and watchmy mother be,” she hesitated momentarily, her eyes filled with tears. I quickly wiped them away, wanting to kiss her pain away. But, instead, she spoke so softly that I barely heard what she said next. “I should have died on that day with her. If I had, Marielle would still be here with you, and then you would have your father and a family would have been saved. I should have been the one, Bourne, and I don’t understand how you could love me when my decision to deceive my father cost your sister her life. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for Marielle.”
In a matter of a few seconds, the entire mood of our fantastic day had shifted into Sabina breaking down again and trying to change a past that was not fixable. It’s over, and if I could put it behind me, then she is damn well going to do it too. She tried to move away, but I didn’t let her get an inch away from me. I reached for her face and held her close as I made her look at me. “You listen to me, Principessa, and please hear me when I say it was not your fault. None of what happened that brought us together was your fault. Your father was evil and used his power to hurt and control everyone around him. You were his daughter; he should have loved and cherished you as my father did with Marielle. I’m sorry that Marco was not built that way, and neither is your brother.”
“He should have protected you and put you first always and forever, but he didn’t. For a long time, I believed I was a man who failed my sister, and because I was so broken after she died, I failed my father when he needed me the most. He fell into a black hole of despair and loneliness. He shut the world out and drowned himself in his grief. By the time I was able to rise from the darkness I was suffering in, it was too late to help my father. Edric, Anna, and Kaz, my assistant, whom you will meet soon, all know about my past and understand my grief. You are the only person I have shared this with outside my circle. It’s because I let you in here,” I said, taking her hand and placing it over my heart.
“You are in here, and how I feel about you is transcendent. I swear to you, Sabina, on the memory of Marielle and my father, I will love you until the last day of my life, but you must let me do that. I promise you that you will never regret choosing me, choosing us, because, my love, I choose you. Oh, baby, you are happy, sad, excited, and a hundred other emotions you have already shown me, but I also know that you don’t hold on to what makes you feel good inside.” She turned away from me, but I wouldn’t allow her to do that again.
“Look at me, Sabina, look into my eyes, and tell me what you see?” I placed my hands on her face, kissing her gently before she answered.
“I see love. I see you looking back at me with only love in your eyes.”
“You’re right; it is love. You brought me back to life, and I want to do the same for you. Stop allowing the pain to infiltrate your heart and twist your mind into believing you don’t deserve any of the good.”
“How do I do that?” she whispered.
“It’s as simple as breathing; you trust me. Principessa, you deserve the world, and I want to give it all to you. You said you see love when you look at me; that’s exactly how I feel about you. I promise if you let all those walls crumble down around you, I will always protect you, and no one will ever hurt you again. You’ve been hiding your entire life but don’t need to do that anymore, not with me. Will you make me a promise?”
She wiped her tears away and said, “I will if I can,” she sniffled.
“I need you to promise always to trust me. I know you’ve heard those words before, and the ones who should have protected you failed you in the cruelest ways, but that’s over. You never have to live in fear again, and when you’re scared, I’ll be the one to hold you and make everything alright. I love you, and I am not goinganywhere. Our beautiful life is waiting for us, and I will move heaven and earth to give you everything you deserve.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Sabina
“Bourne, I know you want to believe everything you’ve just said to me, but I’m not free. My heart feels as if I have barbwire wrapped around it. I’m afraid to move because if I do, it will rip my heart to shreds. I bleed a little to remind myself that although my father is dead, I’m still part of the world I desperately tried to escape from. My father cannot hurt me, but what about my brother? Lucas is alive and will do anything to take me from you.”
“I promise you that will not happen. What do you want, Sabina? You have to stop using your brother as a reason not to trust or love me. He may be your brother in blood ties, but that’s all he is. He abandoned you when he took the oath to lead the Santoro Family. Lucas wasn’t there when your mother died and never looked back after your father sent you away. Is that a brother? An honorable man? No, he’s neither of those things andnever will be. You have to decide how you want to live your life. Principessa, please live as your mother intended for you to do.”
“Okay, Bourne, you win. I’ll trust and love you because I don’t think it’s possible to feel like I do for anyone else.” He wanted to kiss me, as much as I wanted to kiss him, but I stopped our kiss. I had to say what I needed Bourne to hear before I broke down again. I feel that’s all I’ve been doing since we began our love affair, and that’s not who I am. “I’m strong, Bourne. Believe it or not, tears and all, I am strong.”
“I know that Principessa, from the moment I met you, I knew.”
“I always knew that one day I would escape my father’s grasp on me; it’s why I put so many plans in place for exactly that moment when I would run. My mother dying at my father's hands was the single worst moment of my life. I had to get as far away as possible, and I had lost all hope of ever being free of him. One day, out of the blue, my father told me that I was leaving and wasn’t to return. My brother didn’t know his true intentions and believed he was honoring my mother’s wishes. Although I was under surveillance and protected by security, I was still somewhat free. If it weren’t for Lucy and Pierre, I don’t know what I would have done during those years at school. No matter where I am, I owe them everything and need them in my life.”
“I would never keep you from your friends. I know what they mean to you and what you mean to them.”
“It’s why you helped them and lined up work for Pierre, right?”
“How did you know?”
“Pierre told me yesterday when I finally called them. He was happy and excited to share the news and how grateful he was to you for the opportunity.”
“I just made a call, he will have to do the work, and I have no doubt he will be successful. I look forward to getting to know them when the time is right, but Principessa, we have other matters that need to be rectified first.”
“Lucas, right?”
“Yes, your brother and the future of your family and its business interests.”
“He wants me to come home. I’m sure by now he’s gone through my father’s will and is in the process of resolving matters of the estate. It’s not a home, it never was, and if Lucas wants me to return to it, then I feel I should be able to make a decision I can live with.”
“What do you want?” he asked with so much compassion and understanding in his eyes. He listened as I continued to talk and once again bare my soul to him.
