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Bourne

Instead of going upstairs to my office across from our bedroom, Edric led me into his, the soundproof nerve center. It was lucky that he knew me so well because I was ready to lose my fucking shit downstairs if I stayed one more minute in Sabina’s proximity.

I picked up the closest thing I could find: a thick book on the edge of Edric’s desk. I threw it across the room, dinging a corner of the plaster. “Fuck, bloody hell, fuck, fuck, fuck!” I shouted as loud as I could because I could with no one hearing my outrage. I paced the room with my hands on my hips and stewed for a few minutes until I released a breath, running my fingers through my hair.

“Are you done yet? Because I break enough shit with my temper, I don’t know if my office could stand yours.” He said and poured us both two measures of very old scotch on the reserve pile for days like today. “Here, drink this and pace yourself.What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked as he sat behind his desk. “What changed from the hot limo sex I didn’t hear to the chilly reception you delivered to her friends? Of course, they didn’t notice much because they were too happy seeing Sabina again, but I did, so what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“She doesn’t want children with me,” I let out an exasperated breath and refilled my glass.

“She said that?”

“No, not in so many words.”

“No words then, Bourne; I swear sometimes you can be so thick in the skull when it comes to women. If she didn’t come out and say, “I do not want children,” you must have misinterpreted something else. You acting like a brooding asshole will get you a night on the couch, alone, unless you go upstairs and fix this. How the hell are you going to get through dinner in this mood of yours?”

“Well, you’re wrong about a night on the couch because any time away from my woman is nothing I ever will have to worry about. It will never happen, not in this life or the next. I can’t believe I’m saying this a few days before my wedding, but for Sabina not to want children with me is breaking my heart, and I don’t know what to do with these feelings.”

“Again, asshole, she didn’t say she didn’t want kids, so what did she say?”

I sighed, pulled out the chair in front of his desk, and crossed my ankle over my knee. “She said up until a few months ago, she was simply a college graduate, and now she’s about to become a wife and possibly a mother, which she’s not ready for, according to Sabina.”

“Is there something you’re not telling me? Is Sabina pregnant?”

“I don’t know; she could be. I lost myself a short while ago and didn’t use protection, and from that moment on, I still haven’t.I know Sabina was worried, but I wasn’t. So why did I have to address it in the first place when she’s already agreed to marry me and spend her life with me? If a baby comes before the perfect time, I still see no problem here.”

“Man, you are clueless sometimes; now I know why Kaz called you a relationship virgin.”

“She may be right about that, but Sabina is the only one I want in my life. I have to be with her always, and I need her with me, and if she is pregnant with our baby, my life will truly be whole.”

“You are too hard on yourself. I advise you to give it ten more minutes and then go to Sabina. You grovel on your hands and knees if that’s what it will take to make things right between you two. She deserves everything; it’s what you promised her, right?” I swallowed hard but didn’t respond. “Good. By the expression on your face, I know you agree with me. However, you don’t get a free pass in this life because of it, and you being an asshole to her and treating her like the rest of her miserable family will never be acceptable. So get over your shit and be better for Sabina.”

I practically leaped from the chair and lunged toward Edric, “What the fuck? Don’t you dare compare me to her family? In what bloody way?”

“Again, clueless, and I am going to hold you accountable for being so obtuse because you love that girl so much that you didn’t realize the mistake you made. The dominating part of you only works when your partner is playing along, too. No, you didn’t do that today because you misunderstood and overreacted like a fucking beast. Do I need to spell it out for you?” he said and now was on his feet staring me down eye to eye. “Bourne! Did you send her to her room?”

“Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking?”

“Yeah, what was she thinking?” I stilled for a moment, and it came flooding back.

“Oh, fuck, I messed up, didn’t I?”

“Ding, ding, ding! My lord, I think he’s got it!”

“I needed time away from her, and I was slowly losing my mind in her proximity. She’s so damn intoxicating that I sometimes find it hard to breathe. So yes, sending her upstairs was me being my usual possessive self, but it was never to punish her or remind her of painful memories.”

“Good, now go and tell her that.” I ran my hands down my face, knowing every word he said was true.

“Thanks, mate,” I muttered under my breath. He walked me to the door and took me in for a bro hug that I accepted for once in my life. I took the stairs two at a time to our room, stopping at the door to compose myself. I needed to show Sabina that I was calm and ready to talk.

I didn’t know what I was expecting, but I tried to listen through the solid door for anything Sabina might be doing on the other side.

“Hey!” I jumped at the sound behind me.

“Wow! For some bad boy who served in the United Kingdom Special Forces, you are quite the jumpy one.” She openly mocked me as she shoveled in a scoop of Anna’s homemade gelato. “By the way, she’s not in there.”

“Thank you, Lucy. Do you know where Sabina might be?”

“She went exploring with Pierre, who wanted to see some of the island. Unfortunately, he was too wired to sleep, and she had something on her mind that she needed only a friend to hear.”

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