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“Just trying to lighten the mood.”
“We’re a fucking thing, she just doesn’t understand that yet.” Calvin ends the discussion as he turns into the theater parking lot.
Our celebrity status and a promise to stay out of sight get us in the back door. Aurora’s singing her heart out. She has the voice of an angel. She has everything of an angel.
I’m going to have to choose between being there for my brothers and the band, or being there for Aurora. Technically, the drummer’s a pretty easy band member to swap out. Can I use that to my advantage?
I can focus on my personal work, turn it into something. Time to figure out if there’s a market for Viking Fusion.
She runs through some spoken lines, sings a piece of the director’s choosing, and does it well, then wraps up.
The director thanks her, and Calvin motions for us to step outside so we don’t end up causing a scene if she catches us backstage. The four of us are leaning against the brick wall behind the auditorium when the door opens.
It’s the sharp inhale of a sob, then the motion of her hand across her eyes, and the heave of her chest that wreck me. Shit. They’re not happy tears. What’s wrong? I rush to her.
“He asked if I could bring my brothers in to do a Master Class on stage presence.”
I pull her into my chest. “We’ll do it, but only if you want.”
“No, don’t interfere. Nothing at all from you guys. It makes me angry that he asked before giving me the part.”
“If he wants us, he should reach out to our manager. Your audition is your space. I’m sorry people try to use you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
I hold her tighter. “Now, explain why you left this morning. We worried—”
“I’m sorry, it was nerves. I thought…well, that if you were there, your presence would impact me. It happened anyway.”
“I can’t help that he’s an ass, but I might be able to help with some of your anger.”
“How?”
“It involves sex.”
“What are we waiting for?”
“It’s controversial to some people. It’s called consensual non-consent. We’d agree on—”
“You mean CNC.” Her eyes light up.
Fuck. She truly is an angel.
Fifteen
Aurora
IsangJingle Bellswhile straightening the sheets of music on the coffee table.RudolphandFrostywhile spreading melted chocolate in the molds for hot chocolate bombs. AndBaby, It’s Cold Outsidewhile strolling through their huge house familiarizing myself with the two-story layout.
Imagine the fun we could have as a family singing Christmas carols. Stopping by the fireplace, I singChestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, although I don’t think that’s the actual name of it. The tiny tots with eyes aglow…I rub a hand on my belly. I could be pregnant. I want to be pregnant.
I love kids, but have I done something foolish? And not just me…my brothers never asked if I was on birth control. How did I go from thinking one night with them would be enough, to a few lessons, to anxiously awaiting CNC play?
I’m doing everything I can to act normal, including singing every Christmas carol I know while I wait for my brothers to make their move.
When he brought up CNC, I just about passed out. I’ve read about it as a safe way to act out what would normally be a terrible thing. Acting is the key. Everyone understands that I won’t ever actually be in danger, but it’s fair game to get aggressive.
We decided on the classic,red, as a safe word.
