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I relax my pose. All of the tension releasing this is supposed to do for me, recommended by my therapist in the anger management class, is replaced by another sense of tension—my need to be with her.
“What was that?” she asks.
“Every evening at sunset, if we’re not on the ice, I do Tai chi.”
“Is that what you did the other night?” She mimics the motion I’d been making by bringing her hands downward in front of her body and exhaling.
Realization hits. “Pulling Down the Heavens, that’s Qigong, but yeah, same kind of thing. It’s replenishing and it helps me process whatever I dealt with during the day. A lot of people do Tai chi in the morning, but I need it at the end. I would’ve skipped today if I knew you were coming. I would’ve come and picked you up. The storm’s blowing in.”
“I needed some time to think and I wanted to have my car here.”
“Are you okay with our arrangement?”
“I’m here.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“It’s good. But I’m worried I’ll cause trouble between you three. And I want to have my car.”
“Fair enough. Let’s go inside.”
“I want you to teach me what you were doing.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It was beautiful.”
“Then come on over.”
She stands in front of me, looking up expectantly. She raises her hands similar to the pose I ended on. The last thing I want to do is continue my Tai chi, but it gets me close to her.
“Is there an order to how you do it?”
I move behind her and grip her arms. I saw the way she lit up when Ballz did that in the kitchen. Guiding her through a motion, I say, “I think you like when a guy takes control, don’t you?”
“I think so.”
“Okay.” I continue taking her through simple motions. She’s so receptive. I’ve never popped a boner during my sessions before, but there’s always a first. Her ass grinds into my erection and goosebumps break out on her skin.
The peaceful snowfall with a backdrop of a sunset over the mountains can’t quench the fire inside of me. I rub my hands up and down her bare arms.
“Why don’t we get you inside so I can warm you up?”
Ten
Cindy
Jeffstridestotheother end of the deck and grabs my stuff. I sneak a peek at the outline of his erection against his sweatpants. My sneak turns into a stare, or maybe a gawk.
He catches me.
“That’s for you, love. My Love.”
The nicknames make this feel real. “You guys are really good at pretending.”
“Because it’s not pretend with you.” True, he wants sex with a virgin…nothing pretend there. That doesn’t stop my stomach from getting all weird again. Why can’t I keep myself in check?
“We’re fake dating. Remember?” I say it out loud for my own benefit. I shake off my girlish dreams of a professional athlete or three choosing me, especially my stepbrothers. They have their pick of women. They did their good deed. They’re just helping their little sister.
