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“Oh, sweetheart.”
He gathered her into his arms and held on tight, rubbed her back and couldn’t help but kiss the top of her head. It still didn’t feel close enough so he pulled her legs over his lap and hugged as much of her as he could reach.
“What are you scared of?”
“Is it gonna hurt?”
“No, babygirl, it’s not going to hurt. I promise.”
“What if I do it wrong?”
“I’m going to help you, so we’re going to get it just right. But even if something goes wrong with the monitors or it just doesn’t work for some reason, we’ll try it again. No big deal.”
“What if I break it?”
“You’re not going to break it. Unless you break it on purpose, which I wouldn’t suggest doing.”
“I wouldn’t, Daddy. Promise.”
“I didn’t think so. Let’s get the test set up so we have plenty of data to go on.”
They opened the box and took out all the pieces, and then read through the instructions together. The steps weren’t complicated but they were specific and he could understand how a Little girl could get overwhelmed trying to manage all this by herself. Luckily, Cricket didn’t have to.
He sat her at the edge of the crib and helped her set up the monitors—there was one that went on her wrist like a big watch, a pulse-ox that clipped onto her finger, and one that had its own little adhesive patch so it could be stuck right below the notch in her sternum. It sure was cool she could do this cuddled up with Bandit in her crib at home instead of having to go into a sleep lab; he couldn’t imagine Cricket doing well someplace like that.
She’d be fretting about what to wear, if she’d say anything embarrassing in her sleep, if any of the staff would give her shit about Bandit—if she hadn’t already talked herself into a meltdown from wondering if she could have Bandit with her at all. Having her here where she could be as Little as she liked and where he could keep an eye on her was definitely better.
“Does everything feel okay?”
“I guess so,” she allowed, her tone about as skeptical as it could be. “It feels kinda funny though.”
“I bet. But you’re a pretty sleepy Little girl so I’m sure you’ll fall asleep in no time.”
He laid her down on the crib mattress and tucked Bandit into her arms before pulling a blanket over her.
“You still look worried, babygirl. Anything I can do to help?”
Cricket looked like she wanted to say yes but hadn’t quite worked up the nerve. Who had withheld so much from his sweet babygirl that she felt like she couldn’t ask for help or support? He’d chip away at that and make it clear that he was here for her from here on out.
“I’ll do anything I can. You just tell me what it is. That’s what Daddies do, remember? They take care of their Little girls.”
“Okay,” she finally said, not looking at all convinced. “There are two things.”
“Great. Lay ’em on me,” he told her, clapping and then rubbing his hands together like he was getting ready to tackle a challenge.
She giggled at his enthusiasm and he was pleased with himself for breaking up her ice floats of anxiety.
“Will you cuddle me until I fall asleep, please?”
“I’d love to. Scoot over a bit and we’ll get this cuddle party started.”
He stretched out next to his Little girl and slipped an arm around her waist to hold her close.
“That good, Cricket?”
“Yes, Daddy,” she told him, looking up at him through her pale lashes before burying her face in his chest.
He spent some time stroking her hair and rubbing her back, but she’d said two things. He didn’t want her to fall asleep before she could ask for the second one.
