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I let out a long sigh.
She continued, “I trust you in a way that I haven’t trusted anyone in a very long time. I don’t know how you managed to get past my scales, but you did it. And I am so sorry. So, so sorry that I said what I did about your father. I just... I want you, Keir. But having been whispered about these past few years and doubted, I know what this feels like. To be picked apart and destroyed by the very people you are doing everything for.”
“Estalena Rhea Mallick.”
Her tormented green eyes hit mine.
“You are capable of doing whatever the hell you want.”
“I know, but?—”
I made the space between us vanish and took her cheek in my hand. “No buts. You are stronger than anyone I have ever met. You are fierce in the way you protect your people and your loved ones. If this is something you do want, then let’s fight for it. But you have to choose it for yourself first.” I wiped her tears away. “If you don’t, it’ll never work. I don’t want you for only tonight, or a week, or until we finish healing things in Dra Skor, I want you. All of you. Not your kingdom. Not your crown. Just you. The dragon queen who bows to no one, least of all me.”
She closed her eyes. “Tell me what to do, Keir.”
“I cannot,” I said gently. “Youhave to decide if a future with me is a path you want to go down. If it is, I will fight like hell to keep you. Speaking from experience, you have to build yourself up before you can ever start to build your country.” I thought of Krew and Jorah. Wylan thriving for the first time in decades. “You have to be in a healthy headspace in order to get Dra Skor out of all of this. Picking a groom from the men your father approves of and popping out heirs will not fix this, but a healthy and happy queen can. And look at you.” She had been so very thin those first few days back. “Every day you grow stronger. Your health matters, Esta. It is okay to choose something for yourself. Because unhealthy people on these thrones will not help any of us. That was the entire reason I handed Wylan over to my brother.”
“Do you even want to rule with me?” she asked.
I smirked. “With you it has never been about crowns or power. I’d be fine never taking a title here at all. I only wish to be your fool, your annoying moon.”
She laughed. “I’m tired, Keir. So tired of this fight. Part of me wants to just hand it to Jagen and be with you.”
I swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if you did that. Dra Skor needs you.Youare their queen.”
“But I am tired of fighting all of themforall of them!”
I moved to run my fingers through her hair. “I know you are. So allow the rest of us to carry the load? And if not me, then Amory, Malachi, Whit. Whichever of your advisors you can trust. They will help.”
She let out a sigh which confirmed exactly what she’d said, how exhausted she was. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“I cannot decide for you,” I told her. “I am merely the fool who fell in love with the enemy.”
More tears spilled over as she took that in. “I am so sorry for what I said, Keir. You are not your father’s son. You arenothinglike him. It was wrong of me to even imply I thought otherwise.”
I had to give voice to my greatest fear, the one which kept gnawing and gnawing at me like a dull knife to the chest. “But I am still not enough to stand by your side.”
“You’re enough for me!” she snapped. “It’s the rest of Dra Skor which is the problem.”
I gave her as much of a smile as I could muster. “I helped kill my father and remove him from Wylan. I helped to get you back to your human form, Malachi and Amory unstuck as well. I am not sure how else I can prove my worthiness here, Esta. You are just going to have to decide if I’m worth the fight.”
I leaned in and brushed a kiss to her forehead before turning for my balcony.
“Where are you going?” she whispered.
“Down,” I offered.
“Keir, you used a lot of power today,” she warned.
I let out a sigh and turned back to her green eyes. “I know. But if I don’t walk away now, I will spend the rest of the day touching you and trying to convince myself that we are just Keir and Esta. But we never really were. These titles are here to stay. I am Prince Keiran James Kairos Valanova and you are Queen Estalena Rhea Mallick. You just have to decide what you want to do with it.”
CHAPTER43
Iwas pacing back and forth across my floor. My magic flared on occasion, picking up on how tense I was. We’d already woken Miles and had him seek out Malachi.
Something was wrong. I didn’t know what. I didn’t know how I knew. It was just a restless feeling in my gut. But I had learned a long time ago to listen to my Enchantment. And right now, my magic was telling me that something was amiss. I kept looking to the skies, expecting an enemy to come crashing onto my balcony at any moment.
Ten minutes later when one of Reyald Mallick’s men fetched me and told me to come to the war room, I wasn’t surprised. Only on edge.
