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I look back at the courtyard. “Oh.”
“I ran into Guardian Legrand there,” Thalore continues. “I spoke with him about our upcoming trip to Navern. I asked if he planned to join us.”
I inhale a deep breath, watching a couple walk arm in arm across the courtyard. “Let me guess, he said no?”
“Correct.”
I’m not surprised. I’d say no if I could, too.
Navern is Lord Clifton’s home region in Saphrai. The princess’s betrothed is hosting an engagement party at his family estate in one week. All of Avedon’s high-ranking lords and ladies will be making the trip to spend the weekend there.
The last thing I want to do is attend a party celebrating the engagement between Alora and the power-hungry fae who’d left Tony alone in the Murky Mountains during the final contest. But as I’ve been reminded countless times since the end of the betrothal contest, what I want doesn’t matter. Not when Queen Ulla and the others believe I am half-fae, and therefore a citizen of Avedon.
I close my eyes and silently wish for a way to prove to Thalore, Ulla, and everyone else that they are mistaken. Otherthan Thal’s life’s blood saving me from Death’s Kiss, nothing about me indicates I am part-fae like they believe.
Except for the pull you feel to Thalore.
I silence the traitorous thought. Attraction to Thal means nothing. Except that I’m a horrible judge of character. I thought I could trust Thalore, but he kept secrets from me. Secrets that ultimately led to me being trapped in Avedon.
I plan to find my way back home. I will return to my former life and forget any of this ever happened. Until then, I will go along with what the queen demands of me, but I won’t ever stop planning my escape.Ever.
Thalore sighs. “How long will you punish me, Andie?”
I look over my shoulder and see the pain pulling his handsome features taunt. I hate how my stomach clenches at the sight.
He continues, “I only did what I had to do to ensure you lived.”
I turn so I’m facing him. “That’s not true, Lord Thalore, and you know it.”
He winces. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
He takes a step forward. “Call me Lord Thalore. We are beyond that.”
“Not by my choice.”
“Andie.” He runs a hand through his hair. “You are my mate. All I want is your happiness. And for you to be safe.”
“Then help me go back home.”
“You know I cannot.”
According to Thalore, he and I cannot live in separate realms. Sharing life’s blood ensured that. He knew that when he drank my blood and forced me to drink his to heal my injuries. It’s yet another reason why I don’t feel like I can trust him. No matter how much this traitorous attraction to him wants me to.
“Then I can’t breach this distance between us, Lord Thalore.” I shake my head. “I don’t care what you, or anyone else, says. I did not consent to this mating. In my mind, it does not exist. I will go along with the queen’s commands for now, but do not make the mistake of believing that means I accept this.”
Sadness overshadows Thalore’s features. “I understand.” He takes a breath. “Is there anything I can help you with regarding the move? Other than preventing it?”
“No. You’ve done enough.” I turn my back on him.
Thalore swallows. “I’ll leave you.”
I listen until I hear the sound of the front door closing. Then, I slump against the balcony railing and close my eyes.
My life has become such a mess, and my conflicting emotions about the dark-haired fae certainly don’t help. I need to be strong. I need to continue to deny the affection I feel for Thalore. It’s the only way I can think of creating enough distance between us. Once he gives up on a relationship between us, I hope he will agree to help me find my way back home.
Because, without him, I won’t be able to get there.
