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Was it a bad idea to come? I’d hate to stress her out more than she already is. I follow her through the waiting room and wait beside her as she talks to an older woman at the counter, then let her lead the way to our seats. She sits beside me silently, her leg bouncing up and down nervously while glancing around the room full of other women.
“Casey,” I say softly. “I’m trying here.”
She sighs. “I know you are, Emmett. Just would’ve been nice for you to try when I needed it most.” Instead of continuing a conversation like I had hoped, Casey leans back into the seat and closes her eyes, closing off the world around her – including me.
Ten minutes later a young nurse calls Casey’s name, leading us through a long hallway and turning into a small exam room. She talks to Casey about how she’s been feeling, if she’s been taking her prenatals as prescribed, and I listen with rapt attention. I’ve spent a lot of time making sure she’s eating the right things – even going as far as stocking the break room with everything healthy for the baby – and I make a mental note to keep track of her prenatal vitamin intake.
“Okay,” the nurse says with a smile and wiggles a plastic cup at Casey. “You know the drill, let’s get the urine sample, then we’ll get your weight and blood pressure again.” She looks over at me with a smile and says, “You can wait here, she’ll only be a few minutes.”
I glance around the room as I wait, studying the different posters about women’s bodies during pregnancy. The door finally pushes open softly, then clicks shut behind Casey as she steps into the room, and I clear my throat. “How does this usually go?”
She shrugs. “Not sure as I’ve never had a kid before.”
If I didn’t find her so damn attractive right now, I’d get angry at the way she’s talking to me. The sarcasm in her voice isn’t one I’m usually used to dealing with, no one ever gets to talk to me that way without consequences. Yet, with her, it only makes the desire I have for her that much more uncontrollable.
Before I can say anything, a knock sounds on the door and another woman walks in. She halts when she catches sight of me and smiles.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Willow, and you’re the father I presume?” She asks, holding a hand out to me.
I wrap mine around hers and nod with a big smile. “I am.”
“Great. Hello again, Miss St. James, how are you feeling?”
Casey sighs. “Not getting as sick anymore, thank goodness, so a lot better than last time I was here.”
Dr. Willow chuckles and grabs a tiny machine from the counter in front of her. “Yeah, that morning sickness is terrible. It shouldn’t come back again throughout the rest of the pregnancy, but if it does let me know and we can get you a prescription for the sickness.”
Casey blinks. “You can do that?”
“Of course, it won’t keep you from getting sick, but it will keep you from getting sick as often. Hopefully makes things a little easier for you.” She slips on a pair of gloves and looks between the two of us. “Ready to listen to your baby’s heartbeat?”
I immediately stand, walking over to one side of the bed while the doctor takes over the other side, and I watch as she squirts gel over Casey’s smooth stomach. She’s not showing yet, but I can’t imagine I’ll be able to keep myself under control when she does. If she looks this radiant without a large belly, I’m not prepared for what she’ll look like with one. I never thought I’d sit here and daydream about raising a child with someone. I always assumed I’d only have the casino and that’s it, but this has changed the way my mind works.
The thumping that echoes through the room takes me from my thoughts and I stare at the device Dr. Willow has clutched in her hand.
“Still strong as ever,” she says with a smile. “One hundred and forty-seven.”
“Is that a good number?” As much as I’ve searched about pregnancy, there are still some things I’m lost on and this would be one of them.
Dr. Willow nods. “Absolutely, you’ve got a very strong and healthy baby cooking in there.” She pulls the device away from Casey’s belly, the sound gone, and all I can do is let my gaze find Casey’s in the silence.
There’s something about this moment that’s changing everything. I don’t want to be on the sidelines, waiting for the day when Casey drops our child off to me for visits. Is it terrible to want more with her? Probably, but that’s all I can think about right now as she lays in this bed, giving up part of her life to make sure this life that we created stays healthy.
She stares at me silently, her gaze shining with a million different emotions that I can’t quite put my finger on. I smile at her, bringing my hand to her cheek gently, and I suddenly forget how to breathe as electricity shoots through my veins. It’s not the first time it happened, but it’s definitely the most powerful since it started.
It’s this moment. Listening to the sound of our baby’s heartbeat is doing something inside of me, and I’m struggling to contain it. I’m about to lean forward to press my lips softly against hers, when the doctor clears her throat beside us. “We’ll set up another appointment for four weeks from now. There’s nothing to be concerned about. At the next appointment you’ll be getting some bloodwork done and glucose testing.”
“What’s glucose testing?” I ask.
Dr. Willow smiles. “It’s just a test we do to make sure Casey doesn’t have gestational diabetes.”
“And what happens if she does?”
She sighs. “Why don’t we wait until we know for sure, then discuss how to handle it? I’d hate to worry you guys with anything if it’s not necessary.”
In other words, I’ll be researching everything about it when I make it home and figure it out on my own. If she has it, I want to be prepared for what will come next. She leaves us alone in the room and when I turn back to Casey, I frown at the vacant look she’s got. “Are you okay?”
She nods. “Yep, great.” Well, that’s not very convincing. “Just ready to get home and rest a little bit. I’ve been feeling extra tired lately.”
