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Nothing had tried to attack me during my mission to heal Kai, which must have meant the worst of the danger had passed, or at least I hoped that was true. I actually had no idea how much time had passed with me kneeling beside him, thoroughly wrapped up in our little emotional drama.
I rubbed my eyes and tried to take a deeper assessment. There were no longer fire missiles crashing into the ground and exploding, which really increased the visibility of the battlefield. It wasn’t clear, not by any stretch of the word, but it wasn’t the gray, black, and red mess it'd been when I was searching for Kai.
In fact, a majority of our enemy’s front line had been taken out, and the dust was only just now hesitantly starting to settle. Things weren’t quite peaceful, but the utter cacophony had certainly dulled down. Even the alarms that'd taken full attention of my senses earlier had eased off, as if they’d lost their breath toward the end of the battle.
I could still see the flickering of dying fires in the distance, and the silhouettes of the remaining soldiers made their way across the flames. The battle wasn’t over, which meant I needed to stay alert.
There was no telling if there was an enemy lying in wait, especially with a mortally wounded captain, plus a healer ripe for the taking.I was far too exhausted to hold anyone back. Sweat dripped from my brow, and my hands were shaking.
But my work wasn’t finished.
I looked down at Kai. There was nothing left to heal. At least nothing left that magic could touch. I'd loved to have been able to summon a transfusion of blood for him, but that was beyond my skill. At least he was stable.
It was time to enable the curse again.
I had to do it, even though my wolf was tearing me up inside, yet again, and goodness, was she vicious. Tooth and nail, shetried to dig in, refusing to let go of Kai. But I was done having any internal debate about this. It was the best thing for everyone.
Though, if I was going to rip out the very last remnants of magic inside myself, I’d sure we were safe first.
Glancing around us yet again, I saw that we were entirely isolated from the battlefield. That meant I'd no excuse not to reach into myself and put that familiar curse right back on him.
Noexcuse.
I was casting the curve, I was. Iwas!
Except I wasn’t.
I stared down at Kai’s face, enraptured by everything about him. I didn’t want to let go of the connection we shared, didn’t want to go back to being completely alone and cut off from everyone around me.
So instead, I decided to be a complete and utter idiot. In a move that was as much impulse as catharsis, I leaned down briefly and touched my lips to his forehead. It was the faintest ghost of a kiss, so quick and harmless even a nun would approve, yet there was nothing chaste about my body and soul’s reaction. Something felt so innatelyrightabout the brief contact between us, downright religious even. Heat, fondness, protectiveness, desire: all of them stirred within me at once, and for that small moment, I let myself stand in the wave of ecstasy rippling through me, absorbing all that I could.
But a moment was all I had.
To fully balance the situation, to protect Kai, I then had to make a move that caused everything within me to cry out in deep, unending pain. Brick by metaphorical brick, I slowly started to rebuild the barriers my carefully crafted curse had held in place. No more connection, no more amazing feelings. My scent would be nonexistence to him, my presence uninteresting. Even the memory of me would slide away from him upon any reflection. I was a non-entity in his life, and so itmust remain. As it was, I’d risked enough by removing the curse this long.
A small, reckless, and lonely part of me hoped maybe Kai would figure out the full story on his own. After all, a curse as complicated as mine had to fight against so many natural passageways of the brain. If he really took a good look, there was a chance he could break through on his own. I could only hope he wouldn’t see the truth. Besides, it was more likely that he was blithely unaware of everything happening around him while on the edge of death.
“There you are,” I murmured, head pounding. “You’re safe.”
He still needed to be carted off to the infirmary for better care, but that wasn’t something I was exactly capable of. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if I could stand up.
A sickening tingle built in my limbs, like a TV channel turning to static, and my vision was growing equally blurry.
I was losing consciousness. But now I was very concerned about Kai finding me and putting two and two together. I abruptly lurched to my feet, but even my knees fought me, threatening to buckle beneath my weight. Still, I willed myself to keep going, staggering into the undergrowth surrounding us, the leaves and trees practically announcing my presence wherever I stumbled.
I was nauseous, my stomach pitching like I was at sea. My wolf was still fighting me, begging to get back to our fated mate, but she was also drained of energy, leaving her protests rather flat.
I wanted to stop. I wanted to lie down and let myself flutter away into blessed unconsciousness so I could finally regain my magic and bled-out life force. I fought that urge off as long as I could, but eventually our body just wasn't going to take another step. I wasn't sure how far I made it from Kai’s damaged yetsalvaged frame. I didn’t even really know where I was. I didn't have the time to look back at him before I collapsed.
Then the darkness swallowed me.
Chapter 6
Kai
For a moment I knew peace. My soul reveled in a connection I hadn’t known I was waiting for, and I felt moored in a way I never knew possible.
Yet, when I opened my eyes, all of that was gone.
