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“Y-you think they will?”
Funny, Ayla had been so steady when she was healing Darla back at the battle, and steady when she demanded to be allowed on the battlefield. Yet the thought of her friends being in danger was enough to make her voice tremble. I supposed I was cheating a little, considering how her emotions were still trickling through our bond, but even if they weren’t, I'd know that she was pretty distraught at the idea of our team being dead.
Healing hermit, my ass. Ayla was so warm, so concerned for people. But if that were true…why did she hide away from so many?
“I have to hope they will,” I said, and abruptly, it was hard to ignore her pull. I crossed to her and opened my arms. “They’re all incredibly talented and battle experienced warriors.”
Unlike the kiss before, which I took, this was an offer. She could take it or leave it, and I wouldn’t be insulted either way. Ayla gave me an odd look but did indeed walk into the circle of my arms, resting that worried head of hers against my chest.
“Were…” Ayla cut herself off, as if gathering her words. “Were there any signs of injuries?”
“No, I couldn’t get a hint of any of our allies’ blood.” I didn’t mention that I also could barely scent our enemies’ blood, either.
“Do you think that Darla…” she trailed off as I squeezed her just a bit, not to pin her down, but to allow firm pressure to help tether her to the moment and not let herself get swept away by the what ifs. I’d been there myself plenty of times, and it was always awful.
“I personally think the earth itself would sob if it lost Darla Khan, psychic extraordinaire, and possible movie star in the making,” I said as warmly as I could.
Just as I hoped, it did pull the tiniest of chuckles from Ayla. “She is pretty fabulous. I’m sure half of the fort is in love with her.”
“Exactly. If something happened to her, surely at least one of her lovesick suitors would've already led a campaign right to this location. She’s quick and she’s smart. I’m certain if anyone could get away, it’s her.”
Ayla let out a soft sigh at that, and my inner wolf internally howled in accomplishment, pleased that we’d comforted her. If the beast within me had thumbs, it would want to wrap her up in the thickest blankets, sit her down by the fire, then hunt nearby deer and feed her the nicest, fattiest pieces until she fell into a comfortable sleep.
It was such a nice moment for us, so sweet and warm. I just held Ayla, breathing her in, feeling her emotions with her so she didn’t struggle with them alone.
But then she pulled away.
I was ready to object and ask her if it was all right, but it was like someone suddenly shoved an ice cube into my heart. When I looked at the medic again, she had that same cold look on her face. By the ancestors, was that how she felt inside whenever she gave me the brush off?
How truly awful. I wanted to take her aside and tell her she didn’t have to hide anymore, but that led to the question of why she was hiding at all.
As well as how she’d known that we were fated mates but hadn’t done anything about it.
“Ayla, I need to ask you a question.”
She made a non-committal sound and walked over to the fire, so I followed her. We both sat on either side of it, her eyes pointed at the ground. Everything in my body was crying out to be next to her, to touch her skin and hold her again, but I got the feeling she needed space.
“Did you know?”
At that, her eyes met mine, and that all but confirmed it. She’d been aware but never tried to tell me. Actually, it was pretty clear she’d gone out of her way to avoid me. Had I failed at being a mate before I ever knew I even was one?
My heart crumpled at that, and Ayla looked shocked, then guilty. I didn’t get why she seemed to be matching my responses, almost like a dance partner would, until I remembered that she could sense my emotions just as much as I could hers.
“Why do you feel that way?” Ayla said, as ifIwas the strange one in our situation.
“Why do I feel hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Because I failed you.”
I didn’t think it was possible, but her eyes went even wider. “You failed me? What do you mean?”
Although it hurt my ego to even think about it, I needed to. I knew there were plenty of abusive, gross alphas out there who thought with their dick and little else, who mistreated their mates and took their advantageous designation as an excuse to be a total prick.
But I’d always been proud of not being one of those knotheads, that I used my designation as a responsibility and not an excuse to take advantage of people. But for Ayla, she must have sensed something deeply wrong to reject me so thoroughly and right off the bat.
“Because you took one glance at me from a distance that I couldn’t even see you from, and you knew instantly that you’d rather be alone for the rest of our life then be mated to me.”
