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Imrel snorted and Bolivar shot him a dark look. "I'm trying out more human phrases," he snapped at Imrel.
"Whatever. That's one you should definitely pick up. Can I expect your answer in the morning?"
Bolivar nodded, and then I was glad to be alone with him as Imrel left, though I had no idea what I'd interrupted. "What was that about?"
Bolivar flopped down on his stomach on his bed. "Imrel is an idiot. I guess I'm the bigger idiot, though, for staying with him as long as I did. You were smart. Just one night and be donewith him. Clean and easy. Get in and get out. Robbing the bank."
"Uh…" The other phrases had made sense, but not that last one. "That's not a thing."
Bolivar turned over and ran his hands over his face. "Fine. Not robbing the bank then. He wants Maine. Or, rather, he wants my house. I love my house. I love my view. Not so much in winter, but in summer with the wild blueberries everywhere, and then there's the lobster rolls and the clam chowder. No, I'm not selling my house just to make him happy. And I'm not coming down here to join some kind of gay man sex club or whatever it is that's here."
He groaned, and I sat down next to him. "What do you want then?"
"More wind chimes from you."
It was the most random thing I thought I'd ever heard him say. "Really?"
He had his hands over his face, but he still nodded. "I need my treasure. Human body, dragon personality. Give me treasure. Gah. And chocolate. I miss truffles."
I laughed and lay down beside him. His bed was comfortable, and I really liked being there next to him. He was really the only friend I had left in the world. "I suck at making wind chimes, though."
"Yeah, you really do. Do it better next time."
I reached over and punched him lightly in his arm. "Okay. I'll get you one."
"No, you'll make me one. You either find it or you make it, but remember what I said about buying them? That doesn't count. I want you to make me a wind chime, and I want it to come from your heart."
He was being sappy and romantic, but I still reached over and took his hand anyway. "Sure. I'll get right on that."
"But after we go swimming."
"Yeah. After."
Swimming with him was always fun, but that afternoon I stared at him more than I did any swimming of my own. I sat there with my legs in the water, but my gaze was focused solely on Bolivar as he swam close to the bottom of the pool. We were in the private pool again, and I wished that I could be what he deserved. I wanted him. I couldn't help it. He was sleek and beautiful, and now that he was human I thought he was just like me. I didn't fear him or think of him like my boss anymore. He was just someone I knew. Someone I had lived with for a few months. Someone I wanted to spend more and more time with now.
I was still staring at him and thinking about how much I wanted to be with him when he came out of the water beside me. He was dripping all over me and I forced myself not to look at him. I stared right ahead, even when he so casually took my hand in his.
"You're not swimming."
"I'm thinking," I mumbled. Then I realized that I'd said exactly the wrong thing. Because of course then he said—
"Thinking about what?"
I swallowed thickly and wished I hadn't said that at all. "Nothing."
Bolivar snorted. "You know I'm old right? A thousand years or so? I can tell when someone is staring, or when someone wants me. When I was a dragon I could even smell it on them. I know you're attracted to me. You don't have to try to hide that."
I needed to remember that about him. I could be honest with him. I took a deep breath. "Okay. Yeah, I do like you. And I do want you. But it's like I'm here trying to figure out how to be this person that you want, and I don't know how to get there at all. So I'm stuck."
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "You'll get there.And, maybe by the time you are, I won't be who you want anymore anyway. You're young. Go have some fun."
I tried to do just that for the rest of the afternoon. I even went swimming with him and it was fun, but I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said, and about how much I wanted to be a good guy for him.
I headed back to school and I focused on my studies. I tried to be mature. I tried to be good enough, to be what Bolivar deserved, but I wasn't even sure what his standards were. I didn't even know what he liked or what he wanted me to learn or to do. I was lost just trying to be a good guy.
That's what I kept in my head the rest of the semester. I got my grades up. I bought some wind chime kits online and made them for him. He never sent me a text saying thanks, but I had tracking on them, so I know they were delivered. I kept my head down, I studied, and I got through the semester.
When summer vacation came I wanted to go see Bolivar again, but I didn't know if I was ready to. Or if he would have even wanted me there. In the end, I decided against seeing him again. I figured that I knew what would happen anyway. I would tell him I still liked him and he would tell me to grow up. I didn't need that repeated to me again.
