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CHAPTER ONE
Nathan Luke Redhawk waited until the two men he needed to speak with were alone. His grandfathers. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the other men, but his grandfathers were an interesting mix of experiences, both good and bad. If he needed to talk about something important, it was those men that he wanted to speak with.
Miguel Santos had been a one-time cartel chief. Others feared him, even in his own circle. Anything to do with drugs, he owned it. But when his only daughter was kidnapped, the only people he knew to turn to were REAPER. Nine and the others rescued the little girl, pressing Miguel to change his ways and focus on what good he could do in the world.
He did that and so much more. He gave millions to REAPER, then REAPER-Patriots, and now Voodoo Guardians, helping them to help more people. He started victim’s funds to help those that had experienced trauma. But more than anything, he poured himself into his beautiful daughter, Katrina Santos Redhawk, Nate’s mother.
Nathan Joe Redhawk and his twin, Joseph Billy Redhawk, were the most feared men in Delta, only next to their father. Joseph Redhawk was Nate’s grandfather. A man with a dark, dangerous past and more twists and turns than a soap opera. But he was his hero.
Nate loved both men and treasured his alone time with them. When everyone had moved on, he started to walk toward them. He’d been running through his head what he wanted to say but knew he’d probably screw it up anyway.
“Well, it was as you thought, Trak. He’s coming this way,” smiled Miguel.
“He has something on his mind.” They both smiled at their handsome grandson as he got closer. His brother, Michael Douglas Redhawk, was off in the distance playing ball with the other boys.
“Hi, Grandpa Miguel. Hello, análí hastiin.” Trak grinned at him, nodding in appreciation of his use of the Diné language.
“Hello,” they said in unison.
“You look to have something on your mind, Nate,” said Trak.
“Yes, sir, I suppose I do. I’ve been thinking about something a lot lately. I know I should have come to you both sooner, but, well, I guess I was just nervous. It’s weighing heavily on me.”
“I can see that,” smiled Miguel. “You should never fear coming to us about anything. We would never be angry or judge.”
“Promise that neither of you will get mad at me?”
“Asking questions will never earn our anger, Nate. It shows great intelligence that you wish to have answers. Go ahead,” nodded Trak.
“Well, sirs. You both know that I’ll be going into the Army and hopefully will make Delta, like you, análi hastiin. I already know that Delta is sent to the worst places in the world, asked to do some of the most dangerous missions.”
“Yes, that’s true. You’ve known that your entire life. But if you know that, then what’s your question?” asked Trak.
“Well,” he cleared his throat, pushing his toe into the dirt. “I know that both you and Grandpa Miguel killed men. For different reasons. Because of different things. You know what I mean.” They both smiled, nodding.
“I guess what I want to know is, do you regret any of your kills? Do you have nightmares about it?”
Trak didn’t want to answer his grandson. He’d dreaded that any of his children or grandchildren might ask such a question. The truth was, he didn’t regret one of them. Every man or woman he ever killed deserved to be wiped from this planet. He was protecting others and ensuring the safety of his teammates and friends.
Miguel could sense Trak’s hesitation. He nodded at Nate, wondering why he would ask this question now.
“You know that I was not always a good man, Nate. I have never hidden that from any of you. I did terrible things, only thinking of myself and how I could line my pockets. Did I kill men who deserved it? Yes, I did. But I killed many who did not deserve to die. Men and women who were only trying to provide for their families. People who thought that I was helping them, not harming them. Many did what I asked only out of fear of my retribution.
“I’ve been trying to make amends for that for more than thirty years now, Nate. It will take me this lifetime and the next to appease my sins. So, yes. I regret some that I killed.”
Nate nodded, looking at his other grandfather. Trak stared at the young man, deep in thought. He took a deep breath, then spoke in a low, intense tone. Nodding.
“I do not regret anyone that I have killed, Nate. Any person that I killed was endangering my teammates, friends, innocent civilians, and sometimes, animals. I never killed one innocent person. Now, many would say that I took the law into my own hands at times, and perhaps I did.
“But when you know the soul of a man, when you can see it in his eyes, you already know that the law will not take care of him. It is your burden to bear. I was willing to do what many men could not, and I am not ashamed of that.”
“Thank you for being honest,” said Nate. “I have another question. It might be harder to answer. Did you, do you have nightmares?”
“Some,” nodded Trak.
“Same,” said Miguel. “Why are you asking this, son?”
“There’s a man that sits outside the gas station when I’m doing my deliveries for the bike shop. He’s not too old, I don’t think. Honestly, I’m not sure. I heard him telling Mr. John at the station that he was in the Army and can’t get the faces out of his mind. He hears their voices, their screams, and he can’t sleep. Mr. John said that he’s tried to take his life several times. You can see the marks on his wrists. It makes me so sad.”
